I went down the Lagan Meadows last night with a bottle of pink champaigne. The optimism of Spring didn't last it seems.
There were some people sitting at the mouth of the meadows all having a laugh. I was feeling jealous until I heard my name shouted.
I went over and it was Rock and Roll Stephen, The Indie Kid, Clarence Pishflap and The Unicorn Girl.
The Indie Kid was saying that he was trying to get Rock and Roll Stephen back into singing because he'd written more songs about The Smoker and they needed to be sung.
"About that," I said to The Indie Kid. "I don't like you writing songs about me."
"They're not about you," he said. "They're about Fabian Wildman."
"How the fuck are they about Fabian Wildman?" I said.
He didn't get a chance to reply because The Unicorn Girl sat bolt upright and started offloading about what a bastard Fabian Wildman had been when he was living with her and her mates. He started smoking crack and tried it on with loads of girls behind Betty Blue and broke poor Betty Blue's heart, and that I was a bastard by proxy.
I told her that I hadn't seen Fabian Wildman in months and that I liked Betty Blue and I felt bad about what he did, and for some reason I found myself half defending him. I told her that he goes through phases where he fucks everything up but that he helped me give up crack and I'll always thank him for it.
She kept on saying he was a bastard and I told her that Betty Blue used to take me clothes shopping in the second hands and that I hoped she was doing okay even though Fabian Wildman had been a fucker to her.
Clarence Pishflap who'd been strangely silent up til that point said that I was upsetting The Unicorn Girl and that him and her were going to go.
The Unicorn Girl said she was sitting where she was.
Rock and Roll Stephen broke the tension by asking me if I knew anything about how to get false teeth. The Unicorn Girl didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening but it's progress of sorts.
