Yesterday was the budget and I'm not sure about what it holds for Northern Ireland. All I know is that we're so dependent on the mainland that if there's cuts we're fucked in some way. I no longer think David Cameron doesn't care if his wife doesn't cum. I think he does, I don't know. All I know is that I think George Osborne doesn't care. He might not even be able to get it up. I told myself I wasn't going to cry but I did. I did so much.
There's a lot of talk about cutting benefits. If you cut money from the poor they will turn to crime. That's all I do know.
Nanny Boo Boo called me to ask if I wanted to come down to her house for a piss up. I jumped at the chance. She said to bring Battle Cat because she hadn't seen him in ages. She even said to bring down Hot Baby Roy because she felt bad about not coming to his birthday and no one should be on their own at their birthday.
We marched down to Stranmillis, me, the mutt, Hot Baby Roy and Hot Firey Love Lady (don't ask). We started the booze before we got there and I felt like the leader of a gang. I thought I might bump into my protege but the streets were clear. When I reached Nanny Boo Boo's the lights were out. I knocked on the door and she answered it looking a bit edgy.
She ushered us in and I saw that there was a big cake on the table and a banner on the wall saying Happy Birthday.
"Keep quiet," she said as she ushered us into the living room. "He's nearly here."
It was too late to leave and I only just clocked that she was throwing a party for Fabian Wildman. I nearly stormed out but she gave me a look like she was only trying to be nice. I know she thinks we should be mates again but I don't like the ballbag any more.
Then the door went.
Nanny Boo Boo answered it and her and him came into the livingroom.
She started singing happy birthday and the rest of us joined in half heartedly.
He looked happy to see us but then again he looked like he was back on crack with his scrawny scruffy giggling dirty way. He came up and started talking eagerly to me about how it was good to see me again and all that. He was so happy to see Battle Cat. I hoped Battle Cat would bite him but he offered his paw.
Fabian is such a mess nowadays. He told me pretty quickly he was back on crack and that he's living with this guy who catches birds and murders them. He doesn't like it but not many people want to live with a crackhead.
He went to talk to Hot Baby Roy and I had a chance to say to Nanny Boo Boo that she should have told me what she'd planned.
"Please stay for a bit, it'll do him good to see you," she kept saying.
I stayed for a few drinks but I really didn't want to see the rotten bastard. Hot Baby Roy was all happy to be showing off that he'd a girlfriend and Fabian was trying to work some of his old charm on her but she was having none of it. I bet he even wanked in his hair before he came here.
I hate being set up.
