Thursday, 17 December 2009

How to Kick a Housemate Out?

So Wino Jo missed his train the other night because of hot card game action and I left him stay. I was nice having him and I was planning on letting him live at mine. I'd even half said to him. There'd be a problem with Hot Baby Roy having to go but family is family like they're always saying on Eastenders and in shit London gangster flicks (one and the same I suppose).

So I'm mulling over in my head how to do it when Hot Baby Roy suggests watching a movie he's stolen from HMV - Blue Crush.

It's about surfer girls and stuff they do, like surf and have full-on relationships with surfer guys.

The movie was taking off and it was a swell pile of balls when Wino Jo jumps up and shouts:

"What a load of shite? I refuuuuuuuuuuuuuse to watch this filth!"

"What's wrong?" says Hot Baby Roy, all startled. I had to half-agree with Wino Jo it was a stinker.

"Semi-naked girls! gyrating on surf boards! This will not do. It's complete filth!"

"That's not filth, that's real life," Hot Baby Roy said, a complete look of disbelief on his face.

"This sort of stuff makes people murderers and rapists," Wino Jo shouted out and saliva was running down his face and he was swinging his fists wildly in the air like he was about to go for Hot Baby Roy.

"Calm down for fuck sake," I shouted. "It might be shite, but all that other stuff is pure balls"

Wino Jo shot me a look like he might swing for me.

"If you're staying here you can either watch what we watch or you can go for a walk until it's finished. There's nothing wrong with watching something that's getting you ready for a wank before bed," I said.

That was the end of that but I know more bullshit is going to come in the next few days. I might have to ask Wino Jo to leave. He's not coming to the party at the Leotard Girls with that mouth. He'll blow our chances of sex!