Hot Baby Roy met me after work and asked me if I was ready to get all cooled up. I told him I was going to turn the streets of Belfast into a skating rink with my ice cold coolness. He told me that people haven't said 'Ice Cold' in years, and he looked away that way you do when someone says something that makes you think they're a wanker.
I let him walk on and spat on his back for that. I made sure I wiped it off before we reached the shops because much as I wanted people to laugh at him I didn't want the shop assistants to notice us on the rob.
I'm not going into details but I will say that Urban Outfitters and Top Man are easy as fuck to shoplift from and we are cool looking as fuck.
On our way home this indie girl was giving us sexy eyes all the way along the street, after seeing that we were wearing the clothes from these cool shops (yes we walked out wearing them, leaving our flee bitten rags in the changing rooms). Hot Baby Roy said she was too old but I told him she looked to only be about 19 he said that she was older and said she'd had everything between her legs but a bar of soap.
I'm not sure she was the dirty one.
