I came into the living room this morning to find Fabian Wildman on the phone. The calls went something like this:
"I'd like to view the room in ___________"
(mutter)
"When can I view it?"
(mutter)
"I'm not working at the minute, I need housing benefit."
(mutter)
"It didn't say you don't take it in your fucking advert you fucking cock."
Then he'd slam the phone down, shake his head and say "ballbags".
Poor Fabian, I know it's stressing him out that he can't find anywhere.
He's been telling me all about the overpriced shitholes he's been to see. He says they're all owned by ballbags, half the places haven't been cleaned and most of them are rotten with damp.
Sort it out ballbag landlords. Fabian needs a new place to live (but I don't want to see him go).
