So yeah I woke up yesterday to see big removal vans outside Hooka and Fat Rab's house. So I went out because if they're moving I wanted to say goodbye to Hooka (and act menacing towards Fat Rab) but they had left yesterday and the removal van was just coming past to take a few big things out of the house.
I felt really shit because I thought Hooka would at least have said goodbye. I went in and told Fabian Wildman and he told me that it was a good thing because I could go out and find someone else because Hooka was a dick anyway. He also said he felt sorry for me because he'd read my blogs about her and he knew my feelings were genuine. Then I went and read all my old blogs about her and I realised I've been feeling really down recently, and mostly about her.
So here's a list of things that are good about her moving away:
1) No more Angry Anderson through the walls.
2) No more Death Owl next door.
3) People might forget about me pissing through their letter-box
4) I don't have to train Battle Cat to kill (see number 2)
5) We might get some fun neighbours who don't worship the devil
6) Fabian Wildman might stop having nightmares (see number 2, again)
7) I might stop being a moody bastard
8) Sometimes I'd be sitting out in the garden and all I could smell was burnt sage from some hokus-pokus affair. No more of that.
9) I won't have to witness the police dragging them out of the house in the middle of the night covered in goat's blood
10) I won't get done for assault for kicking the face off Fat Rab (it came close).
So there we go, my feelings for Hooka were like a ball of wool: soft, but terribly tangled. That's my last word on the subject and here's the lovely Avril Lavigne expressing how I don't feel about her leaving
