I couldn't sleep last night, I think I managed to drift off for twenty minutes here and there but nothing like proper sleep. Anyways I heard Fabian Wildman take Battle Cat for a walk and when he came back he called me down to the kitchen.
"Okay so It's been 24 hours since your last smoke of crack," he said. "So me and Battle Cat have got you a cake for your one day anniversary."
"Thanks," I said, I was a bit overwhelmed because I really wasn't expecting this.
"You see when you've done a week we'll have another, then every month, then so on. You know."
"Aw I already owe you a day, week and month one," I said.
"Never worry," he said. "Let's eat cake."
"Woof!" said Battle Cat.
We were tucking into some cream cake when there was a knock on the door.
Fabian went to answer it. I heard him talking to Fat Rab and Hooka. They sounded angry. They were shouting about the police.
Fabian invited them in.
"There's some people here to see you," he said.
"That wee indie wanker across the street videoed you on his mobile not only pouring milk through our door, but pissing in it too."
I shrugged.
"You'd need to do better than that," Fat Rab said. "Unless you want to wake up some night to some of our occult mates kicking your door in."
"Tuesday Kid here is celebrating giving up crack," Fabian Wildman said. "He did a lot of stuff on crack that he can't remember, so if he can't remember it, everyone else should forget it."
I looked at Hooka but there was nothing soft in the way she looked at me.
"We're going to the fucking police," Fat Rab said all smug. "Then we'll set the lads on you."
"Fine, we'll stab the pair of you," Fabian said.
Hooka gave a wee sound like she was scared, and Fat Rab tried to look like he wasn't scared but it was obvious he hadn't expected Fabian's answer.
"It's okay," Fabian said. "We won't kill you. But we'll stab some of your satanist mates too, especially the Death Owl. I know none of you dicks can fight for fuck."
Fat Rab and Hooka just stood there looking stunned.
"Right now if you've said your piece, fuck off," Fabian said motioning at the door.
"We're gonna party down, they can go fuck themselves," he said taking a bit mouthful of cake.
