When I got up this morning (afternoon really), Fabian and Battle Cat were nowhere to be seen. At first I worried Fabian might have stolen him but after seeing Fabian had cleaned all Battle Cat's turd off the kitchen floor I just assumed he'd taken him for a walk.

I made myself a cup of tea and sat out in the garden, even though it was bollocks freezing. The garden is really pretty this time of year. When I moved in it was just grass, so I planted a few wee trees. It's now really pretty wild and the trees have all lost their leaves.

Hooka came out after a while and said hello. I asked her how come I haven't heard her and Fat Rab slam dancing to heavy metal for a while. She said that they'd been rowing and Fat Rab spent most of his time over at The Death Owl's. She said The Death Owl's flatmate had done a bunk and left him with loads of bills to pay.

I told her I thought The Death Owl was a prick.

She started to cry. She said that she didn't like him either, that before they knew him, her and Fat Rab just did the I Ching and now they were slicing up goats in their own home.

She was becoming a bit hysterical and I really wanted to leave but I felt sorry for her.

She said she had seen The Craft when she was at grammar school and she thought it would be cool to do some witchcraft for fun, and that she hadn't wanted to cut the goat up, because she grew up on a farm and she liked animals, except for pigs because when she was a kid her big brothers put her in with the pigs and she was scared of them because they had big long snotters running out of their snouts and that's why the only meat she eats is bacon.

She then said she wanted to buy a cat and look after it as a way of saying sorry to animals for killing the goat and that she saw I'd a dog and she was worried the dog would eat her cat.

I told her that Battle Cat was only a puppy, and if she bought her cat now the two of them could be friends.

She said she'd like that.