I took the Death Owl's money and went and bought a bottle of wine and sat down at the Lagan Lookout at Stranmillis.
I couldn't believe I was here on my own, with no job and pish all money. How the fuck had this happened?
How had I not found a job? or why wasn't I living somewhere nice? Or had a girlfriend? Cunts like the Death Owl seemed to be winning why I was a busted loser.
My protege came and found me. He told me he wanted a new lesson.
I asked him what could I teach him? In truth I'm a terrible teacher, and that's usually okay for my terrible students (he's not the first I've given knowledge to) but it wasn't okay for him.
He told me he thought I was badass and that he could learn how to be cool from my coolness and he knows that I've made mistakes and that's cool because he wants to learn from them too.
"Okay," I said. "Here's your last lesson: do as I say, not as I do," then I boked all over myself and burst into tears.
He gave me a hug and told me I was a great role model because I taught him that it was okay to cry if you were a badass.
A big snotter came out my nose. He didn't mention that.
Showing posts with label role model. Show all posts
Showing posts with label role model. Show all posts
Monday, 19 October 2009
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Tuesday Kid the Teacher - Lesson 1
I went down to Stranmillis today to speak to the wee lad about sticking bangers up cats arses. It turned out he was about 16, 17 and not a wee kid at all. So I slapped the fuck out of him and told him that it was about time he grew out of doing that. He said he'd get the peelers on me because he was too young for me to hit. I told him if he was old enough for the army then he was old enough for me to give a kicking to.
He cried and said that he'd tell his da. I told him that his da had done nothing wrong and I didn't want to slap the fuck out of him but I might let my dog bite him if he gets on my wick about teaching his son the lessons he should have a long time ago.
He asked if I thought it was right that parents hit their kids.
I told him no but that since I was in no position to ground him or stop his pocket money the only option I had was to give him a kicking.
He said that he felt he needed a role model like me in his life, because I was cool and his da was not down wiv da kids (he didn't really say this bit but I could see it in his face, his eyes especially!)
He said he wouldn't hurt cats anymore and asked me to go in for him to the off-licence. I took his money and fucked off home with it. Lesson one.
He cried and said that he'd tell his da. I told him that his da had done nothing wrong and I didn't want to slap the fuck out of him but I might let my dog bite him if he gets on my wick about teaching his son the lessons he should have a long time ago.
He asked if I thought it was right that parents hit their kids.
I told him no but that since I was in no position to ground him or stop his pocket money the only option I had was to give him a kicking.
He said that he felt he needed a role model like me in his life, because I was cool and his da was not down wiv da kids (he didn't really say this bit but I could see it in his face, his eyes especially!)
He said he wouldn't hurt cats anymore and asked me to go in for him to the off-licence. I took his money and fucked off home with it. Lesson one.
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