I took the Death Owl's money and went and bought a bottle of wine and sat down at the Lagan Lookout at Stranmillis.
I couldn't believe I was here on my own, with no job and pish all money. How the fuck had this happened?
How had I not found a job? or why wasn't I living somewhere nice? Or had a girlfriend? Cunts like the Death Owl seemed to be winning why I was a busted loser.
My protege came and found me. He told me he wanted a new lesson.
I asked him what could I teach him? In truth I'm a terrible teacher, and that's usually okay for my terrible students (he's not the first I've given knowledge to) but it wasn't okay for him.
He told me he thought I was badass and that he could learn how to be cool from my coolness and he knows that I've made mistakes and that's cool because he wants to learn from them too.
"Okay," I said. "Here's your last lesson: do as I say, not as I do," then I boked all over myself and burst into tears.
He gave me a hug and told me I was a great role model because I taught him that it was okay to cry if you were a badass.
A big snotter came out my nose. He didn't mention that.
