I went out with Good King Thumpo tonight because I was trying to get to the bottom of how he pulls. I can't stand it anymore. So I went and found the greasy tattooed bastard hassling the Alternative Ulster staff in Charlie's Coffee Shop.
I told him I wanted to go for beers and pool. I meant pull but he's a thick bastard and doesn't know better.
He lost two games to six. I told him that he'd have more luck trying to miss. He said he'd see about luck when it came to getting sex with girls tonight.
Anyway at about ten we went off and tried to meet hot metal ladies. It was horrible. Rock and Roll Stephen was there. He told us that his mother caught him trying to use her curlers and kicked his shite in. His dad then kicked him out because he was ashamed that Rock and Roll Stephen couldn't even beat up a woman.
Rock and Roll Stephen went to the bar and Good King Thumpo's first question was: "Is he gay?" I said no but Good King Thumpo spat out when I said this.
I stood and waited to talk to sexy metal girls but all Good King Thumpo did was shout "Yeow! Look at your tits!" when they walked past.
I thought this is bollocks but then a few of them came up smiling and all Good King Thumpo had to do was say "He looks so gay!" when some skinny jeaned prick walked past. I couldn't believe they liked this but they smiled and swooned. Good King Thumpo was loving it. I thought the girls were dumb for acting like this but I played along and said it myself a few times. Particularly at Rock and Roll Stephen who visably winced. Fuck him I'd a heavy metal girl home with me to fuck. Yeow!
I took her back to mine for Tuesday Kid love but after that she went to sleep. She told me she wanted to be in IN Magazine one day but I didn't really listen. She went to sleep and I spat on her. Not exactly true love eh?
