Last night was Fabian Wildman's leaving party. Of course, I was one of the first people on the scene. Me Fabian and Betty Blue tucked into the wine while we waited for the guests to arrive. I gave Fabian his book on 20th Century art and he blurted out that he'd been reading this in the morning when he'd stayed over at Betty Blue's.
I felt like my shoplifting had been for nothing. It really sucked. I decided to get pished on the wine and threw a lot of it in me without offering anyone else a glass. Anyways, the next person to arrive was Hot Baby Roy and there was a bit of a drama there. Hot Baby Roy had bought Fabian Wildman 10 Things I Hate About You as a present and Fabian was trying (quite forcibly, but politely) to tell Hot Baby Roy that he didn't want it. Hot Baby Roy was most upset and accused Fabian Wildman of acting like that because of his girlfriend being present and that he remembered the two of them getting high as kites and watching The Babysitter's Club and singing the 'what do you wanna eat?' rhyme for days.
Fabian Wildman said he would not hear such stories told in front of his girlfriend and asked Hot Baby Roy to leave. Hot Baby Roy left all teary eyed.
Then Stanley, Sandcastles and The Unicorn Girl showed up. I thought at that moment that the party might rock, ever so slightly but all three of them stayed distant from me.
Rock and Roll Stephen showed up (it turns out that him and Sandcastles go way back or some such bollocks). Sandcastles showed us how she could recite all the first series of Black Books and most of the second. It sounded a lot less funny when she said it but Stanly and The Unicorn Girl howled with laughter.
Then Clarence and Hot Baby Roy showed up. Hot Baby Roy was screaming about how he'd been wronged, and Clarence put his hand through a window (he put his fist really) and was standing giving all that to the Unicorn Girl like it was no pain when me and Fabian grabbed him and dragged him into the back yard and kicked the shite out of him.
Fabian was a bit more pissed at this stage and said to Hot Baby Roy that he could stay. Hot Baby Roy was so happy. Fabian told him he thinks he should move in, and Hot Baby Roy looked all embarrassed and said he didn't want to live with a violent druggie because he liked me but I'd a bad rap.
The arty pals all nodded and said that I hit poor Postman Pat and that Mother of Bowling Ball was going to kick my head in. I told them that he'd be found drinking a cup of his own pish in my wardrobe if he tried. They all went silent apart from Sandcastles, who started to cry. Fabian Wildman just stood there wide eyed and didn't even stick up for me.
Shite fucking Party.
