A New Month - New Prospects

I've been helping Fabian Wildman pack up his stuff. He says we're going to have a leaving party with Betty Blue's arty pals (his now), and it's going suck because I know it'll look like Fabian with the civilized arty types around him and me sitting with Hot Baby Roy and some other degenerate. I'll invite Derek Baby and The Banshee just so I'll have rockstar kudos. I don't like thinking like this because I hate all these social maneuvering dicks I always run into. Giving everyone the same handshake and calling shite stuff "interesting". I'm scared that's what I'm starting to turn into but it's just that I'm sick of not having people to go out with.

I got a letter this morning telling me I'd a job interview with a security firm. I'm not too optimistic about it. It's one of those ones where you have to pay for your training, like I need some dickhead to teach me how to kick someone's ass and put their head through a plate glass window. Still if I get to wear one of those headsets like Britney Spears wears I'll be happy.

Fabian Can't Find a House

Fabian Wildman might not be moving out so soon. He says that him and Betty Blue have been out seeing houses and everywhere looks like a Who's Who of lonely Belfast. He's had people half skip screaming round the house with him about how much fun it's going to be when Fabian Wildman moves in with them and when he does they can go to the pub! (like it was the only one - and they'd never been).

That and the money being charged for shared accomodation is fucking ridiculous. £220 for some grotty wee shithole with rust on the walls and piss stains in the carpet. He says it was down on gumtree, daft, homefinder or whenever as "luxury", just because it had some shit hippy rug on the floor from the Oxfam beside Fresh Garbage.

He saw one place he nearly took but then he heard the guy in the next room have a wank, clear as anything, the wall was like a glorified shower curtain. He just said "no fucking way," there and then. The landlord told him it was a good price, Fabian told him he was a theiving bastard and left.

Fabian Opens Up Doors for my Heart

Me and Fabian Wildman were talking about him moving out over the past few days and much as I think he's in the clear he says that he's heard knocks at the door when I've been out and he didn't answer because he didn't want hauled off to jail. He has every intention of staying free just like Braveheart.

We went on Daft and Gumtree and we've viewings lined up this week for Florencville Avenue, Dunluce Avenue, Camden St, Candahar St and Cairo St.

Fabian Wildman wants me to come and view the houses with him. I'm looking forward to it. I hope he moves in with a sexy girl. Cos he's with Betty Blue and I can call round and if he's not there I'll say I'll hang about til he gets home then I'll letch on her and we'll fall in love.

Speaking of Betty Blue he's got her a voucher for a sexy spa where he says they'll sort her bush out. Two birds with one stone he keeps saying. He's very methodical when he's off the crack.

Fabian Wildman Gets Clean - Again

Fabian Wildman gave up crack today. I'm pleased for him but I'm not so confident it'll last. For one he says the main reason he's doing it is because he doesn't want to end up living with a dickhead when he moves out. He says I was a stroke of luck but that usually he ends up living with people like The Death Owl. The other is that he wouldn't get rid of all his crack paraphernalia.

"It costs too much to replace," he said, then when he saw the look on my face, he said "let go slow, let go for good."

It sounds like balls because I've never seen Fabian Wildman do anything he wanted to do slowly.

Fingers crossed though because I think it's really starting to take it's toll on him. I said this to him and he said he thought the same about me when I gave it up. He said I used to talk to imaginary people and cook them food. It got me thinking about Balkazaler, maybe he wasn't really real.

Fabian Wildman is leaving

Fabian's decided he has to move out. He can't risk the peelers catching him here, and since I've lied to them about him, he says he doesn't want to put me at risk. It's considerate but I'll miss him. We've had a lot of fun me, him and Battle Cat and I'll be sad to see him go. He says he won't be moving too far, and I'm welcome to visit him. Which will be good but it won't be the same.

I'm going to have to find a new housemate, but I don't want any fucker moving in. This is going to suck.

Trouble for Fabian Wildman

A cop showed up at our door yesterday and asked for Fabian Wildman, he said it was about the court summons he'd had a few months ago and he'd a new one for Fabian. I told him Fabian Wildman didn't live here any more and I hadn't seen him in months. The cop asked if I expected to see him again soon. I said no and told him I hadn't any contact with Fabian Wildman any more. He turned around and fucked off. Great stuff but technically I've just broken the law. I doubt the filth read my blog so I don't mind letting you know.

Anyways I sent Fabian a text in code telling him that the peelers were out looking for him. He came home after dark and jumped over the back fence.

We sat up late into the night discussing what he should do. We haven't seen the summons yet, but Fabian says that he's going down for this for sure. He says that the only thing he can do is to move again. He looked really sad when he said this and I was too. I told him he should stay put for now and that we shouldn't do anything until we see if the cop tries here again. I don't want Fabian Wildman to leave. I'd really miss him. With his crack pipe and everything. Fucking nasty police bastards.

She's Leaving Home

So yeah I woke up yesterday to see big removal vans outside Hooka and Fat Rab's house. So I went out because if they're moving I wanted to say goodbye to Hooka (and act menacing towards Fat Rab) but they had left yesterday and the removal van was just coming past to take a few big things out of the house.

I felt really shit because I thought Hooka would at least have said goodbye. I went in and told Fabian Wildman and he told me that it was a good thing because I could go out and find someone else because Hooka was a dick anyway. He also said he felt sorry for me because he'd read my blogs about her and he knew my feelings were genuine. Then I went and read all my old blogs about her and I realised I've been feeling really down recently, and mostly about her.

So here's a list of things that are good about her moving away:

1) No more Angry Anderson through the walls.
2) No more Death Owl next door.
3) People might forget about me pissing through their letter-box
4) I don't have to train Battle Cat to kill (see number 2)
5) We might get some fun neighbours who don't worship the devil
6) Fabian Wildman might stop having nightmares (see number 2, again)
7) I might stop being a moody bastard
8) Sometimes I'd be sitting out in the garden and all I could smell was burnt sage from some hokus-pokus affair. No more of that.
9) I won't have to witness the police dragging them out of the house in the middle of the night covered in goat's blood
10) I won't get done for assault for kicking the face off Fat Rab (it came close).

So there we go, my feelings for Hooka were like a ball of wool: soft, but terribly tangled. That's my last word on the subject and here's the lovely Avril Lavigne expressing how I don't feel about her leaving