Hot Fun in the Sunshine

I took Battle Cat for a walk down the Lagan Meadows today, Fabian Wildman came with us. It was nice just hanging out the three of us like the old days. It made me think about how lonely I used to be and how I'm not any more and Fabian and Battle Cat were the start of it ending. Though part of me is questioning how that's changing. Battle Cat was bought to eat The Death Owl but now we never see him and even if we did I wouldn't want Battle Cat to eat anyone. Fabian used to be really cool then he became a yuppie, then a racist, now he's a crackhead again but he seems so much sadder than before, like he thought when he quit everything else would start working, but he's tried that and now he's decided to settle for being a crack head.

I didn't say any of this. I bought me and Fabian Wildman a twelve pack. We walked down about half way to Shaw's Bridge and sat guzzling them in the grass and sun. After we'd finished Fabian pulled out the crack pipe but I told him if he smoked that I wasn't carrying him home. I thought he was going to spark it up but he put it back in his pocket.

"It'll keep till later," he said.

Like so many things, I thought.

She's Leaving Home

So yeah I woke up yesterday to see big removal vans outside Hooka and Fat Rab's house. So I went out because if they're moving I wanted to say goodbye to Hooka (and act menacing towards Fat Rab) but they had left yesterday and the removal van was just coming past to take a few big things out of the house.

I felt really shit because I thought Hooka would at least have said goodbye. I went in and told Fabian Wildman and he told me that it was a good thing because I could go out and find someone else because Hooka was a dick anyway. He also said he felt sorry for me because he'd read my blogs about her and he knew my feelings were genuine. Then I went and read all my old blogs about her and I realised I've been feeling really down recently, and mostly about her.

So here's a list of things that are good about her moving away:

1) No more Angry Anderson through the walls.
2) No more Death Owl next door.
3) People might forget about me pissing through their letter-box
4) I don't have to train Battle Cat to kill (see number 2)
5) We might get some fun neighbours who don't worship the devil
6) Fabian Wildman might stop having nightmares (see number 2, again)
7) I might stop being a moody bastard
8) Sometimes I'd be sitting out in the garden and all I could smell was burnt sage from some hokus-pokus affair. No more of that.
9) I won't have to witness the police dragging them out of the house in the middle of the night covered in goat's blood
10) I won't get done for assault for kicking the face off Fat Rab (it came close).

So there we go, my feelings for Hooka were like a ball of wool: soft, but terribly tangled. That's my last word on the subject and here's the lovely Avril Lavigne expressing how I don't feel about her leaving