A Night in the House Skint

My dole isn't in my bank, and I haven't spent it either. That useless 70s Crimewatch Photofit Suspect has fucked up the payment. I had to borrow money from Hot Baby Roy which is a bit embarrasing because I let him stay at mine rent free. I know the dole pays the rent for me but still.

Hot Baby Roy was off out last night, he didn't say where but it left me and Battle Cat sitting in the house with fuck all to do but rewatch crappy teen romance movies (which Battle Cat hates - he growls everytime Zac Efron or some suck dick comes on screen and he barked the house down when Hot Baby Roy stuck on some Hannah Montana).

Our DVD collection is pish, I've seen all my movies tons of times and I can't bring myself to watch some of the really suspect stuff Hot Baby Roy owns (The Olsens in New York Minute).

I'd really like to watch a movie about proper adults doing adult things, I don't care if it's a comedy, drama, thriller whatever, just as long as it doesn't involve some asshole at "high school" totally bugging out dude over some fuckface they're totally like into and stuff. In the end I just went online and searched for jobs, not even the kiss-a-gram one is still there, it's all badly paid shit in the arse end of no where. Anytime I see something like a shop job that I think might be easy enough it turns out to be part time or casual. What the fuck is casual? That can mean 0 hours per week. Who the fuck wants that?

I want a job that allows me to buy some new DVDs because I can see my unemployed status as a cyclical thing.

Anyone recommend some good films I might be able to shoplift out of HMV?

That's right HMV I'm coming your way, and you won't catch me.
I sat and searched for jobs online, there was

A Nice Day on the Sofa

This morning I broke the bad news of my firing to Hot Baby Roy and Wino Jo, they both started shouting at me about how could I do this? And how I couldn't go back on the dole. I reminded them that they both were on the dole and that maybe now they could stop scabbing off me and go out and find jobs and treat me to the spoils of their hard earned jobs.

They both started shouting again and I just went back upstairs and had a snooze. When I woke up neither of them were in the house so I went down and sat on the sofa with Battle Cat. I told him that I was fired but I wasn't going to stay on the dole long because I want money. I just want a better job than the shit one I had.

There was fuck all on TV so we watched a Chuck Norris DVD were Chuck stares down a bear. I don't know why everyone goes on about Chuck being all hard. I'd slap the ginger wee pishflap about with my big toe.

Hungry for Love and Crack

So this morning I called in sick to work. I'm not enjoying it and I spend the weekends doing everything that I had to put off during the week. Plus with working Monday to Friday (my training lot are going to be put on shift patterns next week so that we'll be working some weekends and some late nights, with weekdays and mornings off) I've missed out on things like going to the bank to scrounge money. I want an overdraft and a credit card that I'm going to max out and change address when they ask for the money back.

Hot Baby Roy was all twitchy this morning and asked me if I ever fancied going back on crack. I told him no, even though I get tempted (now more than in the past). I told him that all I needed was a few felt tips once in a while and just enough whiskey to make me boke in my mouth and leave that smokey aftertaste.

He said he gets tempted, though what he really wants is true love. I told him that true love doesn't exist outside of his DVDs. He pulled a face like a child who has been told they're not getting that gift you promised them.

Then he said he had something in his eye and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I heard some sobbing through the door and he had a big red face when he came out.

He asked me if we could have a party and invite the Leotard Girls. I told him maybe. He smiled a bit but he'd big bloodshot eyes and a look that said he was hungry for love.

A Long Fucking Day

Yesterday was a weird one. Firstly it was my fruitarian brother's birthday. I haven't heard anything from any of them since my "intervention" so I didn't really know what to do. In the end I sent him a text and I got one back saying some balls about how he's thinking of going off meat again. I'll look forward to missing this intervention.

Secondly one of the sweaty metallers moved out. There was loads of shouting about how the other was "a spandex licking mutherfucker" mutherfucker was emphasised in that way that metallers sometimes do when they're wanting to get extra metal about something.

Fabian's thinking he might move in there. I think he should just stay here. The cops haven't been round in ages.

I asked him why didn't bring round Sandcastles and The Unicorn Girl again. He said that they'd been scared off by Hot Baby Roy and especially Clarence. Clarence told the Unicorn Girl that he liked to get drunk at the weekends and slap the fuck out of indie kids. Me and good king thumpo did this once but I didn't say. Fabian saw I looked upset but he didn't know why. He said he was seeing them again tonight and he'd say to them about maybe calling round again.

After he left Hot Baby Roy called round in tears saying that he couldn't find his Bratz DVD, he'd left it here but I was so pissed off I told him I hadn't seen it. He said he was going to bring round Wild Child someday soon because there was a hot dance routine in it, he saw I wasn't impressed so he added, "and there's stuff about emotions and friendship in it too."