Hot Baby Roy is back on the booze. I found him last night sprawled on his back with a big smile on his face and a bottle of Scrumpy Jack cuddled in his arms. Hot Baby Roy was lining his dick up with his nose (Hot Baby Roy's dick, Wino Jo's nose) and trying to take photos of it. Hot Baby Roy looked startled and he'd every right to be because I was going to kick his arse out of the house for that.
Then Hot Baby Roy's old pal Clarence sprung up from behind the sofa telling me that he had been taking lessons in chinese gung-fu and was going to whoop my ass for what I did to him last year.
He tried some big Jean Claude Van Damme roundhouse and managed to knock a potted plant flying just before I slapped his pussy ass all round my living room.
With Clarence booted out on the street I couldn't be arsed telling Hot Baby Roy to leave, him or Wino Jo but I'm thinking that I should just tell both of them to get out to fuck.
Showing posts with label alcoholism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcoholism. Show all posts
Friday, 12 February 2010
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Bum Fights
Somehow Wino Jo's old drinking buddy Foosted Wotsit head has found out that Wino Jo is staying with me. Seems he didn't hear that Wino Jo is off the drink and he arrived up at the door with a big three litre Scabby Nettle Gang welcome pack.
Wino Jo was happy to see him but Hot Baby Roy told him to get knotted. That Wino Jo had been dry for a while and was staying dry despite what degenerates like Foosted Wotsit Head tried to do about it.
Foosted Wotsit Head beat the clean shite out of him and showed him that alcos can fight as well as healthy boys anyday, or that was the way Wino Jo put it.
Foosted Wotsit Head didn't give him a severe enough beating though because it wasn't long before Hot Baby Roy was on his feet and in and out of the broom cupboard and beating the shite clean out of Foosted Wotsit head with a baseball bat.
Wino Jo said he just sat back and laughed and he never realised how funny street drunks were until he stopped being one.
I thought this was a shit thing to say about his old mucker Foosted Wotsit Head but since Foosted Wotsit Head fled the city last year when I thought he'd killed Wino Jo in an alcohol fueled rage I patted Hot Baby Roy on the back and told him there was only room for one ginger in this house.
Wino Jo was happy to see him but Hot Baby Roy told him to get knotted. That Wino Jo had been dry for a while and was staying dry despite what degenerates like Foosted Wotsit Head tried to do about it.
Foosted Wotsit Head beat the clean shite out of him and showed him that alcos can fight as well as healthy boys anyday, or that was the way Wino Jo put it.
Foosted Wotsit Head didn't give him a severe enough beating though because it wasn't long before Hot Baby Roy was on his feet and in and out of the broom cupboard and beating the shite clean out of Foosted Wotsit head with a baseball bat.
Wino Jo said he just sat back and laughed and he never realised how funny street drunks were until he stopped being one.
I thought this was a shit thing to say about his old mucker Foosted Wotsit Head but since Foosted Wotsit Head fled the city last year when I thought he'd killed Wino Jo in an alcohol fueled rage I patted Hot Baby Roy on the back and told him there was only room for one ginger in this house.
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Talking Street Drinking and Missing Cool Partys
Hot Baby Roy left for the party looking cool last night and I sat in with Wino Jo, who was in a wile state thinking he was back on the drink. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I'd beat him up in his sleep.
Hot Baby Roy was spurting all this shite about spandex and making fetish videos with the Leotard Girls once he had one or more of them for a girlfriend. It was not fucking fair. He's going to ruin our chances with them when he lets his drooling hard on do the talking, bastard.
I told him that I wasn't going to save him if some big musclebound lughead beats him up.
He went away saying I'd thank him for it when I saw it working.
Hot Baby Roy heard the loud music coming from next door a bit later and he asked what was happening.
I told him there was a party and we'd been invited if he wanted to go. He said that he'd probably make a dick out of me if he went there and got drunk.
I told him Hot Baby Roy was probably already doing that for me.
I took him for a walk into the city centre because I couldn't hack him sitting round the house in the state he was in. I thought it would make him calm down a bit.
This made him worse, he kept seeing all the tramps and saying "there's where I'll end up."
I the end I stopped outside a pub and told him that I'd go in with him and make sure he didn't drink. I wouldn't drink either.
He was scared to go in but I told him that I'd look after him.
He agreed that he'd go in for a coca-cola.
When we went in there was live music playing and he sat and talked to me about how the music was decent and I told him that he needed to learn to let other people do what they wanted and that it was okay if other people have different tastes.
He said that he had a right to say if things were bad. I told him he did but sometimes you just have to let things go and let other people do whatever is making them happy.
He said that was a fair point and said that he wouldn't stab Hot Baby Roy. We drank our mineral and went home.
He seemed calmer and he went for a walk earlier when Hot Baby Roy stuck on a mucky DVD.
Hot Baby Roy isn't talking about the party but he has a black eye and came home in tears last night. I'll get to the bottom soon enough.
Hot Baby Roy was spurting all this shite about spandex and making fetish videos with the Leotard Girls once he had one or more of them for a girlfriend. It was not fucking fair. He's going to ruin our chances with them when he lets his drooling hard on do the talking, bastard.
I told him that I wasn't going to save him if some big musclebound lughead beats him up.
He went away saying I'd thank him for it when I saw it working.
Hot Baby Roy heard the loud music coming from next door a bit later and he asked what was happening.
I told him there was a party and we'd been invited if he wanted to go. He said that he'd probably make a dick out of me if he went there and got drunk.
I told him Hot Baby Roy was probably already doing that for me.
I took him for a walk into the city centre because I couldn't hack him sitting round the house in the state he was in. I thought it would make him calm down a bit.
This made him worse, he kept seeing all the tramps and saying "there's where I'll end up."
I the end I stopped outside a pub and told him that I'd go in with him and make sure he didn't drink. I wouldn't drink either.
He was scared to go in but I told him that I'd look after him.
He agreed that he'd go in for a coca-cola.
When we went in there was live music playing and he sat and talked to me about how the music was decent and I told him that he needed to learn to let other people do what they wanted and that it was okay if other people have different tastes.
He said that he had a right to say if things were bad. I told him he did but sometimes you just have to let things go and let other people do whatever is making them happy.
He said that was a fair point and said that he wouldn't stab Hot Baby Roy. We drank our mineral and went home.
He seemed calmer and he went for a walk earlier when Hot Baby Roy stuck on a mucky DVD.
Hot Baby Roy isn't talking about the party but he has a black eye and came home in tears last night. I'll get to the bottom soon enough.
Saturday, 19 December 2009
My Cool Plans Backfire
Wino Jo was in a terrible state this morning. When I came down the stairs he was sitting shaking and drinking a big mug of black coffee.
"I think I'm back on the drink," he said.
"Why's that?" I said looking into his battered tear stained face.
"I've taken a terrible kicking, I must have been pished as fuck last night. I don't remember a thing."
I felt terrible. The kicking was meant to put him in his place, not make him think he's having blackouts.
It's the The Raven Princess Spandex and Princess Cheetara's party tonight and now I can't bring Wino Jo and I can't leave him alone because he was telling me he was going to go and down a bottle of Joop.
Now I'm going to have to let Hot Baby Roy go on his own and fuck things up for us.
"I think I'm back on the drink," he said.
"Why's that?" I said looking into his battered tear stained face.
"I've taken a terrible kicking, I must have been pished as fuck last night. I don't remember a thing."
I felt terrible. The kicking was meant to put him in his place, not make him think he's having blackouts.
It's the The Raven Princess Spandex and Princess Cheetara's party tonight and now I can't bring Wino Jo and I can't leave him alone because he was telling me he was going to go and down a bottle of Joop.
Now I'm going to have to let Hot Baby Roy go on his own and fuck things up for us.
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