Wino Jo was in a terrible state this morning. When I came down the stairs he was sitting shaking and drinking a big mug of black coffee.
"I think I'm back on the drink," he said.
"Why's that?" I said looking into his battered tear stained face.
"I've taken a terrible kicking, I must have been pished as fuck last night. I don't remember a thing."
I felt terrible. The kicking was meant to put him in his place, not make him think he's having blackouts.
It's the The Raven Princess Spandex and Princess Cheetara's party tonight and now I can't bring Wino Jo and I can't leave him alone because he was telling me he was going to go and down a bottle of Joop.
Now I'm going to have to let Hot Baby Roy go on his own and fuck things up for us.
Showing posts with label fish shaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fish shaking. Show all posts
Saturday, 19 December 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Poor Battle Cat
Me and Battle Cat were down the Lagan Meadows tonight and I'd a nice bottle of free wine with me. I was talking away to him about how Fabian Wildman was a bastard but I still didn't want Battle Cat to bite him because Fabian had been nice to him and Battle Cat wasn't to get all confused because Fabian wasn't around any more and me and him were still mates even if he never visited. Battle Cat stopped and had a boke and I had a poke through it to make sure he didn't have worms.
Then this cutesy wee lady dog came tottering over with her owner, a wee old man, Battle Cat and her were sniffing round each others bums and I could tell they liked each other's scents but then the oul man started making a scene all about how Battle Cat was a mongral and his dog was a pure breed. I told him this wasn't Hogwarts and he said this his dog was raised to mate with a pedegree because he was old and needed to pay for oil in the winter time and that Battle Cat was a mongral.
I told him that dogs had hearts and maybe he should let his dog enjoy Battle Cat's love because I could assure him that Battle Cat was well brought up and house trained and he pulled a face like a gurner and said he'd hit Battle Cat with a stick if he came sniffing round his dog again.
I told him that pedigree dogs were inbred and he probably was too. His dog would have a fun time getting in Battle Cat's gene pool.
He said something else but I cut in and said up his hole. He shook his fist and fucked off. Quick.
Then this cutesy wee lady dog came tottering over with her owner, a wee old man, Battle Cat and her were sniffing round each others bums and I could tell they liked each other's scents but then the oul man started making a scene all about how Battle Cat was a mongral and his dog was a pure breed. I told him this wasn't Hogwarts and he said this his dog was raised to mate with a pedegree because he was old and needed to pay for oil in the winter time and that Battle Cat was a mongral.
I told him that dogs had hearts and maybe he should let his dog enjoy Battle Cat's love because I could assure him that Battle Cat was well brought up and house trained and he pulled a face like a gurner and said he'd hit Battle Cat with a stick if he came sniffing round his dog again.
I told him that pedigree dogs were inbred and he probably was too. His dog would have a fun time getting in Battle Cat's gene pool.
He said something else but I cut in and said up his hole. He shook his fist and fucked off. Quick.
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