Fabian's Sex Problem

Fabian Wildman said today that he needs to have a chat with Betty Blue about her lady parts.

I asked him was that not a bit personal to be telling me.

He said that I was the only one to talk to because he doesn't have a sister (yuk!). I wanted to be a good friend so I asked him what was wrong.

He said that she needs to shave her lady bits because eating her pussy is like trying to find your way out of Glenariff Forest. I told him I'd never been and he said that it wasn't important for me I could still understand the metaphor.

He said that Betty Blue has the hairy bush but when she comes it's like a waterfall so he wants to be sensitive and not lose her.

I asked him if it was important for him that she was bald like a child and he said he didn't like that idea at all and that maybe he'd let her have a hairy pussy but it looked a real mess when he munched a few eggs out of it and it looked like he had thick ugly smeg and it made him look bad.

I asked him who else but him and her would see it and he said he had his suspicions.

I told him that I thought Betty Blue's love for him was pure and that maybe he should just trust her more and maybe buy Betty Blue a voucher for a waxing salon. He thought about it a bit longer and shook his head. He went upstairs and smashed some stuff. Fabian's weird when he's not doing crack.