Dick Lick For Breakfast

I haven't been to work since Friday, not because of Betty Blue and Kiss Boy, and not because of someone starting a facebook group for this blog (it makes me feel super cool).

No, I've been off work with man flu. I've just felt really under the weather. I might have had a dodgy kebab on the way home on Friday. I'm not sure. I don't want to say where I bought it from in case it wasn't their fault but I'm not eating out of there again.

I came down this morning to find that there was nothing in the house for breakfast. Battle Cat was fine because we always keep scraps for him in a bowl. But all I had was a couple of suspect looking pancakes. They seemed okay so I toasted them but I couldn't find any butter or jam. The only thing there was to flavour it was a bottle of dick lick sitting on the living room coffee table (which means Hot Baby Roy has been having sex in the living room! Dirty bastard! It's my couch!)

I took a slurp to see what it tasted like. I was alright. I'll go shopping later and get proper jam but Dick Lick was nice with the pancakes. I don't think it'd go nice with toast.

Dick Lick, Yummy Yummy!

We Like The Cars The Cars That Go Boom

The metaller girl was up by the time I got up this morning. She looked frightened. I asked her what the matter was. She said that she'd boked in her sleep and it was all over the bed and she was scared that I'd be angry. I took a look at it and it wasn't all my spitboke.

I laughed and said that I'd be putting the sheets in the wash later and it was no bother. She still looked really worried.

I asked her if she wanted some breakfast. She said yes. I went down to see what was in the cupboard there was fuck all so I told her I was off to the shop. I went and got some great breakfast stuff.

When I got back from the shop Battle Cat had really worked his puppy magic and she'd made friends with him.

I wanted to ask her how come her and her mate like to hang out with guys like Good King Thumpo but I didn't want to turn this into an interogation.

She asked if I played football. I told her no and she burst into tears.

I didn't understand why, that's not the first time that's happened to me.