3 Years and counting

So Saturday was my three year anniversary. I'm not sure where to go with the blog any more or even if I should keep posting. It's mostly because I'm no longer a lonely crackhead living in Belfast.

I still sniff felt tips from time to time though. Mostly I just get high throughout the day on coffee, and come down in the evening with alcohol.

Still, it's nice to make it to the big old three years and know that my blog has outlived Hamsters, Guppies and unfortunate pets (I'm not sure why this is nice, especially because I'm sure all those deaths involved crying children). Ho hum.

That's all folks!

Yesterday was my birthday and it started me thinking about it being time to wind the blog down. I've a lot going on in my life at the mo and the blog isn't so easy to keep up.

I've been at it two years now and it's been great. I've went from being a sad crack head who was secretly the coolest dude in town to everyone knowing just how mutherfucking cool I can rock. I've played electric rock and roll guitar solos, talked to daemons and kissed lots of sexy girls.

I've enjoyed massive support from the rest of the blogging community, particularly the Northern Irish blogging community. I'm not saying this is it for good but for now that's me.

Thanks for reading, I might post on here from time to time so it's not a total goodbye but if you do want some other good blogs to read in the meantime there's plenty listed down the side there.

My Hot Date in Belfast

So me and The Punchbowl Girl went to China China last week for our hot date, and I haven't posted since. So here's what happened.

I show up at four like we'd arranged. You see China China has this all you can eat buffet deal. I you leave before five you are charged £5.99. If you leave before seven you're charged £7.99 and I think there's a third price but I don't know what it is.

Anyway I'm sitting there at four thinking we've an hour to stuff our faces and go somewhere else. Come half four there's no sign of The Punchbowl Girl. I'd been worrying since I arrived that she might not get there in time for us to get a good scran up.

I was starting to think she wasn't coming at all and maybe I should just get a big feed and ball my eyes out. I thought about texting her but I didn't want to blow my cool. What if she was coming. I felt like crying. I couldn't believe it. She'd come in and catch me balling into ice-cream and banana balls. Then at a quarter to five (way too late for us to get the £5.99 scran up) The Punchbowl Girl walks in looking all pretty punk rock. And when she sits down and says:

"Sorry I'm late, I suppose we could maybe get the £5.99 if we're quick."

I say:

"Take your time Punchbowl Girl I'm not cheap."

We started off on prawn toast and spare ribs and had a nice giggle watching all the other diners run for the till at five to five.

We had a nice romantic dinner for two for £7.99 a head. It was worth every penny. I'd have paid more.

I'm Mr Blue

I know I haven't been posting much and it's a kind of excuse that I've been depressed but it's an even bigger one that nothing much has been happening. I sometimes go looking for a blog post when I don't have one. I pick up bits of paper I find lying on the ground hoping that there's something funny/interesting written there but that recently I've found nothing but boring scribbles that I can't really read.

I spend a lot of time online filling in job applications that I never recieve replies to. I wank a lot, and cry a bit too.

Today Hot Baby Roy told me that it was his birthday next week and he asked if he could have a party here. I said yes but I don't know who he'll invite most people I know either think he's a pervert or want to give him a kicking (most of them think both).

I thought this year was going to be fun. I'm blue.

Tough Talking

I took Battle Cat down to see Nanny Boo Boo the other day and she hit me a clash on the mouth and said that her nephew had read on my blog that I'd been smoking crack again.

Most people I know that read my blog either don't know it's me or don't mention it but Nanny Boo Boo was saying that this ZIm Van Bindle character sounds like a complete fuck up and that his brain probably crawled out his ear one night and ran the fuck away.

Nanny Boo Boo said that I had my wee pup to think about and that how could I let a fuck up like Hot Baby Roy get dates with one of the girls next door and I couldn't get any. It was a right dressing down (not literally).

She said that I should cut out the crack, get a job, get my hair cut and buy some shoes that don't have holes in them. She said I looked like a tramp but she knew I could do better.

I told her it hurt my feelings and she said that if she thought I couldn't fix these things she wouldn't say them to me. She'd just not answer the door when I came to visit. But she knew I was a good lad with a lot of potential I just shouldn't waste it sitting round at a crackhead's house listening to him talk shite about Amazon armies and rainbow igloos. It sounds like some shite a child would scribble on a page and force it's worried, embarrased parent to stick on the fridge.

Meeting my public

Fabian Wildman has a job interview next week. He's very excited about it, even though it's for some pish cheapo shop type affair which I know he'll hate. Since he told me I've been having these thoughts that I'll bump into him in five years time and he'll be like Bell Boy in Quodrophenia and I'll end up riding my scooter off a cliff in mental anguish.

I also spoke to someone today for the first time about my blog who didn't know I wrote it. My hot shot banker brother was on the phone for the first time in ages and he told me about this blog he'd been reading about this crack head who'd gave it up and I should read it because it might give me the nudge to quit. I didn't tell him it was me because I wanted to hear what he said about it. I was surprised he didn't clock it was me, but then again we haven't spoken much in a while and when we do we don't go into detail about what's going on so he wouldn't know much of the stuff on the blog. He must have started reading it recently otherwise he'd have spotted all the mentions he got last year. Oh well, it's me by the way, ha ha.