The Girl at the Punchbowl

So there I was on the street just keepin it real and listening to some hardcore gangsta on my walkman (psyche: ipod mutherfucker). It wasn't working, the act not the ipod. I was trying not to give a fuck because in some ways it feels like everything was a bit easier when I was smoking crack and not giving a fuck about anything but then I was thinking about looking after Battle Cat and My Protege and I realised who the girl from work talking about her birthday was and much as I like helping people out I don't know if I ready for it again if she needs help with something.

I remember being at the Cliffs of Moher a few years ago and right at the cliff edge is a sign (a calming green one) saying: There are other options. And the number for The Samaritans below it.

I remember thinking was that really going to stop someone who wanted to kill themselves. I hope so. I think that's quite a hard topic to approach. I hope she's changed her mind about killing herself. I remember knowing people when I was a teenager who talked about killing themselves. They're all still here. I'm not saying they were just going through a phase what I'm saying is that things changed for them and they must have thought there were things worth sticking around for, even if other things were still going shit for them.

The song on my ipod turned to Tupac Shakur and I thought, there's a man who didn't want to die and he was gunned down. Then I remember thinking that maybe Tupac wasn't dead.