Hot Baby Roy gets hot sweaty and sticky

Hot Baby Roy came round last night and said that he wanted to know the crack about Bratz. I gave him the DVD back and said I didn't know he'd left it here.

"Great wasn't it!" he beamed proudly.

"I didn't watch it," I shrugged. "And I don't want to watch Wild Child either," I said motioning at the DVD under his arm.

"It's okay," he said, near in tears, "I'll go away."

"No don't," I said. "Come in I'm about to watch Barbwire. It's about bigger girls. Well just one in particular."

Hot Baby Roy licked his lips and waved a box of tissues at me.

"I knew we'd need these," he said happily.

"You're not wanking in my house," I said. "I might, but you can forget it."

"Just a joke," he sniggered. But I'm sure he muttered something about Fabian Wildman letting him do it.

After Barbwire he wanted to stick around and talk about Hot Baby Roy stuff. He said that his favourite song was Girls Aloud's The Loving Kind.



I told him I wasn't keen on it and that it thought it was Call The Shots Part 2. He said this wasn't so and that Call The Shots was about life and stuff but that The Loving Kind was about Ashley Cole cheating on Cheryl and that it was nothing to do with the rest of the band. You can tell this because she wears white in the video and the rest wear black. I told him I heard the Pet Shop Boys wrote it and he got pissed off and changed the subject. He said that the ginger was hot and I asked him if he thought that because he was a ginger too.

He said that had nothing to do with it because lots of non-gingers like her. I told him I didn't think gingers should be allowed to mate with other gingers.

"Who's talking about MATING?" he shouted."I want to FUCK."

Hot Baby Roy's Comic Book Creation

Hot Baby Roy called round today. He said since Fabian Wildman was off crack he thought the two of them might start paling around again.

He started talking about how he had started drawing comics and he had an idea for an action hero that was going to make him millions.

He said that it wasn't really his idea but that he was visited by people while high on crack and they told it to him and said he could use it free of charge.

Fabian Wildman (perhaps sensing a chance to change the subject) told him that I used to hallucinate that I was being visited by a daemon that looked like Sammy Wilson.

Hot Baby Roy snorted at this and said Sammy Wilson was a good man and that he wouldn't visit a crackhead. (He neglected to mention whether or not he believed him to be a daemon).

I said I wasn't so sure that they were hallucinations and that Sammy Wilson (or Balkazaler) told me a few things that convinced me they were one and the same.

There was an awkward silence after this and nobody would look at each other.

Fabian Wildman tried to ease the tension by asking Hot Baby Roy what his idea was.

Hot Baby Roy said that he'd come up with this character who was a big strong man and a kung-fu expert and he could kick the fuck out of any woman.

There was another awkard silence after this and Fabian Wildman asked him why women.

Hot Baby Roy said that there were lots of female comic book characters whose only selling point was that they could beat up men, and he was just turning the tables on them. He listed off Barb Wire and Supergirl.

Fabian Wildman pointed out that Supergirl could also fly but he'd give him Barb Wire.

Hot Baby Roy stormed out of the house cursing his head off.