Derry - City Of Culture

I went back to work today. Betty Blue wasn't there and neither was Kissy Boy. They were probably at home fucking and getting fucked like rapists in prison.

After work I went into town and bought some spandex. I was walking up Queen St when I came across Rock and Roll Stephen hanging out on the corner with his guitar in his hand.

I asked him what he was doing and he said he was buying some sausage rolls because he was getting ready to walk to Derry. He was saying that Derry was the city of culture and that he was going to walk there with his guitar in hand and get a garret and write some poetry while smoking rollies and walking around drunk and get chicks and feel like a really rock and roll kid. I sniggered a big because I don't think he knows I call him Rock and Roll Stephen.

I told him that The Indie Kid gave me his book of rhymes before he went back to culchie land. And Rock and Roll Stephen's jaw just dropped and he said that The Indie Kid told him he burnt it.

Tears started running down his face and he said after he managed to get control of himself:

"I guess you really were the smoker."

Then he wandered off in the direction of the motorway singing an old out of tune Libertines song.

North Coast Railway Journey

Yesterday, as a treat, Fabian Wildman bought me and him daytracker tickets from translink. They give you unlimited travel on the trains for one day for only six quid. Great bargain we thought, especially because we both needed a day outside Belfast. We left Battle Cat down with Nanny Boo Boo early on and off we went.

We decided we'd get off at each town and walk around for a wee while. Here's what we thought of each of them:

Antrim - hole.

Ballymena - Looks like the eighties never ended. All the people look the same (they might be inbred).

Cullybackey - We didn't get off here (based on what we could see from the window).

Ballymoney - Red brick all the way. Cool train station though.

Coleraine - National Front training camp, they should build a big concrete wall around it and fill it in with cement.

We didn't stop at either Castlerock or Bellarina but there are cool views from the train around these places.

Derry - We liked Derry, we went into a few cool pubs here but we had to get the train back at seven, bit too early.

We were glad to get back to Belfast and when we did we cowered in fear at what was outside it. On the way back we talked about Bear Grylls and how he must come from outside Belfast because we saw a lot of people who we thought would walk about the countryside eating dead animals. Fabian Wildman said he thought bear wouldn't have got invited to any funerals because afterwards he'd dig up the grave again and have a good old much of the dead person. We cowered in fear. I don't want to go outside Belfast again for a long time.