North Coast Railway Journey

Yesterday, as a treat, Fabian Wildman bought me and him daytracker tickets from translink. They give you unlimited travel on the trains for one day for only six quid. Great bargain we thought, especially because we both needed a day outside Belfast. We left Battle Cat down with Nanny Boo Boo early on and off we went.

We decided we'd get off at each town and walk around for a wee while. Here's what we thought of each of them:

Antrim - hole.

Ballymena - Looks like the eighties never ended. All the people look the same (they might be inbred).

Cullybackey - We didn't get off here (based on what we could see from the window).

Ballymoney - Red brick all the way. Cool train station though.

Coleraine - National Front training camp, they should build a big concrete wall around it and fill it in with cement.

We didn't stop at either Castlerock or Bellarina but there are cool views from the train around these places.

Derry - We liked Derry, we went into a few cool pubs here but we had to get the train back at seven, bit too early.

We were glad to get back to Belfast and when we did we cowered in fear at what was outside it. On the way back we talked about Bear Grylls and how he must come from outside Belfast because we saw a lot of people who we thought would walk about the countryside eating dead animals. Fabian Wildman said he thought bear wouldn't have got invited to any funerals because afterwards he'd dig up the grave again and have a good old much of the dead person. We cowered in fear. I don't want to go outside Belfast again for a long time.

Belfast Get's Me Down Sometimes

It's indicative of Belfast being bounded by the sea and high hills that you inevitably run into some really inbred people from time to time.

Yesterday I was walking down Shaftsbury Square when I watched this mutherfucker in a car try and cut out from behind this wee old lady in a car and what the fuck happened? He nearly got hit by another car coming from the Donegal Pass. So there they both were at the lights and the wanker who cut out from behind the old ladies was sitting swearing at the other driver (the one from Donegal Pass) so what happens? The one from Donegal Pass just sat there with his window up making wanker signs at him. I really thought there was going to be major road rage and I was all prepared to split it up but it never happened. The wanker just drove off beeping his horn at anyone who cared to listen to him.

Then on my way up Botanic I met this wanker who told me that he thought I was scum and that he hated beggars. I told him that just because I hadn't washed that morning didn't make me a tramp and that my flatmate's ex-flatmate was into black magic and he should fuck off if he knew what was good for him. He wandered off and got in his car. I took the number plate down and if I ever see his fucking face around I'll be chucking stones at his shit fucking Renault (you'll never afford an Audi you bastard).

So I went home and cried in Battle Cat's empty food dish.