On My Own Again

So last night the Punchbowl Girl sits me down and says she wants to talk about us.

This sounds bad but instead of bursting into tears and screaming "no this isn't fair," I say. "Sure what's up."

She says that we've been having a lot of fun and she wants to know if I'm just hanging out with her or if I'd like her to be my girlfriend.

I tell her that I thought it was a given we were boyfriend and girlfriend especially after the whole spandex thing and she says no.

Then I say that I'd like her to be my girlfriend very much.

Then we kiss and it's all looking like it's going to be a happy ending until she tells me that she's off tomorrow for a week long holiday with her family.

Then I burst into tears (I don't really but it's funny because it refers to me doing something I thought I was going to do earlier but didn't do). I huffed a wee bit because the truth is I'm going to miss her while she's away.

I'm turning into a sappy boy. Oh dear.

Things You Find On The Job Centre Website

And she did accept my kinky ways. So I texted her the other night after I came home from Nanny Boo Boo's and the next day I sat at work waiting for her to text me back. Work is shit at the moment. Betty Blue is leaving at the end of the week to go back to universtiy. Kissy Boy is saying that they're going to go out long distance but I can't see it happening. I'd say Kissy Boy will fuck half of Belfast the week she leaves.

They're laying people off. The contract is having problems, they don't think it'll be renewed. The bosses are so strict. I'm behind on my stats but to be honest if there was somewhere else to leave I'd go. I keep checking the online job centre and there's fuck all but kissogram and part time scrotum lickers.

I went home via the off-licence and bought a bottle of pink champaigne. I was going to go for a long walk up out into the countryside and get pure fucked. Instead I went home and put some figure hugging spandex on. Then I heard the door. I slipped on a scabby old tracksuit over the top and went to answer it.

It was The Punchbowl Girl. She had a backpack on her shoulder. I thought it was probably full of stuff I'd given her that she was going to give back but then I remembered that what I'd given her would fill her balled fist.

"Why did you leave the party?" she asked.

"I was embarrassed at what had been said about me."

"So is it true?"

"Yes, it is," I nodded.

"Well in that case, I've stuff in this bag you'll like."

I invited her in and it turns out she had a big bag of spandex all for me, pink stuff, green stuff, blue stuff, all out of the fetish pages of your da's magazine collection in the roofspace. I'm not going to tell you what happened the rest of the evening other than to make smug sounds that teenagers do in school when they're talking about who did what to whom at the previous night's school disco (or thereabouts).

Hypertension, dog walking and spandex (not at the same time)

I went down to see Nanny Boo Boo tonight because Hot Baby Roy was out with Hot Firey Love Lady (shit I forgot to say that they got back together after he explained that he felt humiliated with the first beating and that he was only learning Karate to defend himself but he's been used to reading about the violence so much that both Mother of Bowling Ball and Clarence being there made him go red and he was going to open a can of whoop-ass but left the can opener at home. It worked - yay for him).

Nanny Boo Boo told me that it was going to come out sooner or later. I said I wanted it to come out later but that wee bastard let things out of the bag. Nanny Boo Boo said that I just had to let her make her own mind up about it. The wee fellah may be a dick but he might have done me a favour if it gets me some spandex love.

She said that she had been to the doctors after taking a funny turn when her and Fabian Wildman were in the garden (she said it wasn't as dramatic as she makes it sound but Fabian insisted she was going to the doctor about it). She's been told that she needs to cut back on the alcohol and cakes (even though Nanny Boo Boo is not in any way fat) and take some regular exercise.

I asked her if she'd like to take Battle Cat for a walk with me sometime. She said that she'd like that because she doesn't get to have as much time with him as she used to. She said she could even take him for walks herself because she knows that I don't have as much time as I used to now I'm at work, and I'll have even less when that girl accepts my kinky ways.