Looking after Nanny Boo Boo's Place

Today I thought it was about time I cheered up. So I went and got a lend of Mr Spoon's lawnmower. Not because I wanted to mow my lawn but because I wanted to huff the petrol out of it. Only the rotten old bastard never told me there wasn't any in it. So I just waited a few hours and gave it back to him (after breaking the blades) and telling him he'd broken blades and I couldn't use it.

He looked pissed off but then again so was I, so fuck him.

I took Battle Cat down for a walk to Nanny Boo Boo's because she's gone to stay with her nephew in London for the week and asked me to water her plants. I let myself in and found a big bowl of sausages and a note saying "help yourself to wine". I got pished on her wine and listened to her LPs. This one is fucking rocking, it reminds me of Jive Bunny:

Flotsametrics and The Glenn Miller Conspiracy

I'm not the only one taking Battle Cat's disappearance hard. Fabian Wildman is missing the wee fellah loads and it's making him go a bit weird. He's taking to sitting up at night and listening to coast to coast am on Betty Blue's laptop. Then next morning, while I'm waiting for my head to solidify, he starts waffling on about all this mad bullshit he's heard the night before while smoking crack.

Yesterday I had to turn around and tell him to fuck up, because I had a raw oul gut on me from all the booze the night before. I had to go and lie down again. He went into his bedroom and starting blasting some shit out about the greys at top volume.

Here's some mad oul shit from coast to coast