Sometimes things can be nice

Last night I went round Nanny Boo Boo's. She said that she knows what happens in my blog and she's none too impressed. She said that I shouldn't be getting pished and talking down about my mates even if I think they've made a mess. She said Hot Baby Roy is a mess but he means well and she thinks that he could be a good guy to get in with those aerobics girls.

I told her that they wear leotards and she said that I wasn't at her house to score points. She said she rooted for me and anyone who was on my side. We talked about how we'd only known each other since this year and I told her that if Battle Cat could have wondered into anyone elses garden I'm glad he didn't because I think Nanny Boo Boo is great. She gave me a pair of socks and I half smiled and then she gave me a bottle of gin and said she's glad I don't smoke crack, and I felt a bit self conscious because I never really knew how much some people I know keep an eye on me. It's funny but Nanny Boo Boo makes me feel like I've more back up than I think sometimes.

Battle Cat was with me and the two of them had a right old time. I had bought her a gift. I'm shite shopping for presents so I won't say what but I think it was okay. I hope you're all doing well. Merry Christmas and thanks for reading this.

That's Bad Crack

So I got my pay and headed straight up to get some crack but my old crack dealer isn't there any more, probably busted. I deleted all my numbers when I gave it up. Fuck that. Hot Baby Roy might have some numbers on his phone so I fucked off to the house to see if I could get hold of his phone.

I bought a bottle of gin on the way and was pure pished by the time I reached the house. The Raven Princess Spandex came to the door and I started babbling away about how hot she was and I was sorry if Hot Baby Roy had tried to steal one of her leotards. And just as I started to catch on she'd been looking puzzled for ages I shut up.

"Hot Baby Roy was great, some guys showed up and started trashing the place and he stopped them. I just wanted to give him this," she put a present in my hand and I didn't know what to say, so I boked all over myself.

"I hope none of that hit you," I said to her as I slid down the wall.

The Raven Princess Spandex is so hot, and now I've no chance. I've been so embarrased I've been up in my room sobbing and swaying gently, I still hope I can fix this.

Who needs to lick the bowl?