Hot Baby Roy Has Brought His Video Collection To Stay

Hot Baby Roy is still here. And if it wasn't that I liked the company I'd kick him out. He has so far brought round 10 Things I Hate About You (which I enjoyed - Heath Ledger RIP), She's All That (which sucked), Slap Her She's French (which I slept through), S Club 7 Seeing Double (which I told him he could watch on his own) and Wild Child (which I still have to watch).

He's been very nice to Battle Cat (which is a smart way to get in my good books) though he's made a few mistakes (he tried to share a chocolate orange with him).

His concussion seems to be clearing up, as much as someone like Hot Baby Roy can be clear. He sleeps in Fabian Wildman's old room and has gone home a few times to get clean underwear and clothes. He's had showers but he doesn't use soap. He says water is enough and it leaves the sexy smell for the ladies.

I asked him what if he had eaten onions or garlic, that stuff comes out your pours.

He said he didn't eat these foods and that he makes sure he has at least one aphrodisiac a day. This includes a portion of Pumpkin Seeds, Oysters (which he can never find nor afford), Chocolate, Strawberries or Lemonade.

I didn't ask him how come he never pulls. Here we fucking go.

Hot Baby Roy Gets Dug

Last night was spent in casualty at the City Hospital. Hot Baby Roy called round looking like someone had kicked his fuck in. I was a bit pissed off because I haven't seen him in a while. I almost told him to go fuck but when I had a good look at him I felt sorry for him. He'd a big fuck off black eye and a real sorry for himself look on his face. There was blood pissing out of his nose and he couldn't straighten his arm properly.

I put my coat on and took him to casualty. The taxi driver was a right dick. He almost didn't let Hot Baby Roy in because he was bleeding. I told him if he got any on the seats I'd pay for the cleaning (but I'd no intention of doing this).

Once at casualty there was a sign up saying said we'd only have a few hours to wait. This wasn't so bad because there was a newspaper with sudoku on it which I sat and worked with while Hot Baby Roy babbled on about what he'd been up to.

He started talking about how he'd seen Mother of Bowling Ball and asked him not to hurt me.

I asked him was that what happened him. He said no and that he'd been giving his sex man speech to some totally hot babes in Lavery's when he got his balls kicked up and out through his mouth (this is a metaphor apparently) by their baddie boyfriends.

"I wish they'd let me fight them one at a time," he kept saying. Or shouting, he was getting really emotional and I had to make menacing eye contact with some other sick people.

We eventually got called after 8 hours and stuck in a wee shit cubicle for another hour. We were so bored when we were in there we started looking round for things to steal. Hot Baby Roy found some incontinence nappies and said he'd love to get some wee Methody doll in one.

I couldn't find anything to beat that so I sat and huffed. The cool doctor came in after a bit and gave Hot Baby Roy some stroke tests and wiggled his arm about. It was all a bit balls really. We got send home with instructions for Hot Baby Roy to come back if he starts projectile vomiting.