New Moon Cinema Extravaganza

So in work today all the rest of the staff (my team anyway) were all talking about how they'd went to see New Moon on Friday. I was the only one who hadn't went. I hadn't been invited. Kissy Boy and Little My were talking all about how it was so romantic and all that. Little My took this to mean she's in with a chance but I have my doubts. Book Boy was saying that I hadn't missed much, he just went to hang out with everyone.

Me too! That's why I'd have went. I haven't even seen Twilight. I was so annoyed I just sat and my desk and kept my mouth shut. I was still raging when I bumped into Hot Baby Roy in the continental market. Both of us were there on the rob (stealing always cheers me up). He said he'd go and see it with me, he'd been looking forward to it and that Dakota Fanning is growing up feisty and nicely.

I don't want my face kicked off so I told him it wasn't missing it that I missed but the companionship.

"Who better than with friends?" he said grinning.

I know he means me and him but he's going to get so arrested one day and I don't want my house searched as a result.

I tried to steal a wicker snowman but it was too hard. I fucked off up the road while Hot Baby Roy was on the Belfast Big Wheel.

Hot Baby Roy Gets Dug

Last night was spent in casualty at the City Hospital. Hot Baby Roy called round looking like someone had kicked his fuck in. I was a bit pissed off because I haven't seen him in a while. I almost told him to go fuck but when I had a good look at him I felt sorry for him. He'd a big fuck off black eye and a real sorry for himself look on his face. There was blood pissing out of his nose and he couldn't straighten his arm properly.

I put my coat on and took him to casualty. The taxi driver was a right dick. He almost didn't let Hot Baby Roy in because he was bleeding. I told him if he got any on the seats I'd pay for the cleaning (but I'd no intention of doing this).

Once at casualty there was a sign up saying said we'd only have a few hours to wait. This wasn't so bad because there was a newspaper with sudoku on it which I sat and worked with while Hot Baby Roy babbled on about what he'd been up to.

He started talking about how he'd seen Mother of Bowling Ball and asked him not to hurt me.

I asked him was that what happened him. He said no and that he'd been giving his sex man speech to some totally hot babes in Lavery's when he got his balls kicked up and out through his mouth (this is a metaphor apparently) by their baddie boyfriends.

"I wish they'd let me fight them one at a time," he kept saying. Or shouting, he was getting really emotional and I had to make menacing eye contact with some other sick people.

We eventually got called after 8 hours and stuck in a wee shit cubicle for another hour. We were so bored when we were in there we started looking round for things to steal. Hot Baby Roy found some incontinence nappies and said he'd love to get some wee Methody doll in one.

I couldn't find anything to beat that so I sat and huffed. The cool doctor came in after a bit and gave Hot Baby Roy some stroke tests and wiggled his arm about. It was all a bit balls really. We got send home with instructions for Hot Baby Roy to come back if he starts projectile vomiting.

My Fruitarian brother phoned today (he's not a fruitarian anymore but that's the name he's got and it's sticking) and asked if I wanted to meet for a coffee. We met in the Starbucks on Botanic Avenue. He seemed in really high spirits and over a hot cherry mocachino told me all about his run of good luck.

Firstly since he's started eating meat again he's re-established links with his old mates who feel okay about taking him out to restaraunts. He says they could have lived with him being veggie, even vegan, but fruitarian was a step too far. Sounds a bit harsh but it's up to him if he wants to be friends with them.

Secondly he's got a new girlfriend, he met her at the foreign market at the City Hall and they bonded over crocodile burgers. Then they had spanish donuts and went on the big wheel. He says he's going to have a party at his house later in the month and invite me.

I decided not to depress him by telling him all about The Death Owl and my neighbours. I'm really happy for him but It'd be nice to have someone of my own at this time of year. If only Hooka would dump Fat Rab.