Hot Baby Roy Has Brought His Video Collection To Stay

Hot Baby Roy is still here. And if it wasn't that I liked the company I'd kick him out. He has so far brought round 10 Things I Hate About You (which I enjoyed - Heath Ledger RIP), She's All That (which sucked), Slap Her She's French (which I slept through), S Club 7 Seeing Double (which I told him he could watch on his own) and Wild Child (which I still have to watch).

He's been very nice to Battle Cat (which is a smart way to get in my good books) though he's made a few mistakes (he tried to share a chocolate orange with him).

His concussion seems to be clearing up, as much as someone like Hot Baby Roy can be clear. He sleeps in Fabian Wildman's old room and has gone home a few times to get clean underwear and clothes. He's had showers but he doesn't use soap. He says water is enough and it leaves the sexy smell for the ladies.

I asked him what if he had eaten onions or garlic, that stuff comes out your pours.

He said he didn't eat these foods and that he makes sure he has at least one aphrodisiac a day. This includes a portion of Pumpkin Seeds, Oysters (which he can never find nor afford), Chocolate, Strawberries or Lemonade.

I didn't ask him how come he never pulls. Here we fucking go.

Lonely Mrs. Puddinghead - Part 2

So I've this plan to get a new job and I pop off to the job centre to find that it's full of folk wanting jobs, all the oul gang are still there but they're outnumbered by all these high fallutin types wanting work. It's not cool, except Mrs Puddinghead is well busy and really pissed off that's she's speaking to people who actually want to work for a change.

I start looking through the jobs and see there's one for a kissogram. I think this would rock for me because I could borrow Fabian Wildman's Zentai and rock out to fuck in a house full of lovely ladies all wanting kissed. I would but I remember one time spying on Mrs. Puddinghead (out of boredom) and seeing a male kissogram show up to her lonely house night after night but then one night the kissogram didn't come any more and I asked The Albino about it one time he was in a good mood and he laughed and told me that she'd been blacklisted by every kissogram company in the province because she always liked to look on their visits as dates and wanted to move their relationship to the next level but they wouldn't and how she cried and begged and bought them chocolates and expensive brandy. He laughed so much his cheeks turned a pinkish-white. Nasty bastard.

I don't like Mrs Puddinghead but that's one of the saddest stories I've ever heard. I remembered her crying the other week and I still think she's a bitch but I can't help but feel sorry for her. I think I'll just avoid her in here if I can (I was trying to do that anyway) or just recognise that her nastiness is just a reaction to the love she sees everywhere but never feels herself.