So there I was downing a full bottle of whiskey, wearing the oul drag and watching X-Factor on Saturday night, when I looks out the window and sees My Protege and one of his wee wanker mates standing outside.
My Protege had a face like beetroot (he's a big beetroot head at him but anyway) and his mate was pishing himself and shouting "he's so gay!"
"Here you wee bastard, come on in and my dog will eat you for saying that."
"I'm not going into your house, you're gay!" he shouted.
I opened the front door and walked out all Get Carter and said:
"Battle Cat eat this wee wanker."
Battle Cat ran out woofing and the wee fucker ran off. In truth Battle Cat would have just licked him but he wasn't to know and didn't stick around to find out.
"He's right," shouted My Protege "you're a fruit," and he ran off crying.
Fuck him. I just find it comfy.
