I went down to see Nanny Boo Boo today. It seems that My Protege has turned into a right wee shite and is turning Stranmillis into a violent ghetto. I told her that it's time I took to the streets and kicked his ass Equalizer style.
I went and found the bozos he hangs with. Nanny Boo Boo says he shoots dope with them. I grabbed one of them by the arm and pointed at the track marks.
"Get clean, you flithy bastard."
I nutted the bozo in the face and asked where My Protege was. A girl said that he was in hiding from my big gay ways.
I kissed her passionately so she knew what thug passion was running in my viens.
She burst into tears and said she hopes she didn't catch STDs from me, her running with her dope shooting pals.
I told her I didn't have the STDS and I wasn't going to let them turn Stranmillis into a bad dope den.
Showing posts with label thug passion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thug passion. Show all posts
Saturday, 12 December 2009
Friday, 9 October 2009
Tuesday Kid The Teacher - Lesson Number 3
After Spitboke stopped crying she left. She did give me her number and I think I'm going to call her but I don't hold out much hope for it. It's probably the flirt divert. I used to phone it sometimes when I was bored and leave sappy messages that bordered on unhinged, in the hope of getting on the radio but then I got paranoid that the cops would be tracking my number so I changed it. This better not happen again.
I went for a walk down to Stranmillis because I think it's time I had it out with my protege. What can he possibly learn from me other than not to do the things I've done?
I eventually found him with some of his mates. He said they were going to go and smash some windows. Then it hit me. He was about to make all the mistakes I've already made.
I told him that smashing windows was fun but that someday he'll smash the wrong windows and get his legs broke. He said it was okay because they only broke old people's windows. I hit him a clash in the face and told him that I'd a friend who was old that lived in Stranmillis and if he smashed her windows he'd get his legs broke by me.
"You see, I said to him, lesson number three: You can't judge people by who you think they are. E.g just because someone is old doesn't mean there isn't a hard bastard brimming with thug passion standing behind them with a baseball bat."
One of his spidey mates said: "Tuesday Kid's got knowledge."
I was so proud. I felt like Furious in Boyz in the Hood.
I went for a walk down to Stranmillis because I think it's time I had it out with my protege. What can he possibly learn from me other than not to do the things I've done?
I eventually found him with some of his mates. He said they were going to go and smash some windows. Then it hit me. He was about to make all the mistakes I've already made.
I told him that smashing windows was fun but that someday he'll smash the wrong windows and get his legs broke. He said it was okay because they only broke old people's windows. I hit him a clash in the face and told him that I'd a friend who was old that lived in Stranmillis and if he smashed her windows he'd get his legs broke by me.
"You see, I said to him, lesson number three: You can't judge people by who you think they are. E.g just because someone is old doesn't mean there isn't a hard bastard brimming with thug passion standing behind them with a baseball bat."
One of his spidey mates said: "Tuesday Kid's got knowledge."
I was so proud. I felt like Furious in Boyz in the Hood.
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