Sitting down watching Harry Hills TV Burp getting ready to support the Jedward Boys (by the way Derek Accorah is a funky dancer, who knew?) when a brick comes flying through the window. Luckily it missed Battle Cat, me and the TV. I jumped up and ran out. I knew who it was My Protege the wee bastard. What a wee fucker?
Like all bastard kids they were far away before I was even out the door, I just heard the wee fuckers cackling at the end of the street. It's a sad fucking day when some wee bastards want to bust your windows for wearing clothes.
I'm gonna get my protege and stick my foot so far up his arse my leg will disolve in his guts.
Come on Jedward.
Showing posts with label smashing windows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label smashing windows. Show all posts
Saturday, 14 November 2009
Friday, 9 October 2009
Tuesday Kid The Teacher - Lesson Number 3
After Spitboke stopped crying she left. She did give me her number and I think I'm going to call her but I don't hold out much hope for it. It's probably the flirt divert. I used to phone it sometimes when I was bored and leave sappy messages that bordered on unhinged, in the hope of getting on the radio but then I got paranoid that the cops would be tracking my number so I changed it. This better not happen again.
I went for a walk down to Stranmillis because I think it's time I had it out with my protege. What can he possibly learn from me other than not to do the things I've done?
I eventually found him with some of his mates. He said they were going to go and smash some windows. Then it hit me. He was about to make all the mistakes I've already made.
I told him that smashing windows was fun but that someday he'll smash the wrong windows and get his legs broke. He said it was okay because they only broke old people's windows. I hit him a clash in the face and told him that I'd a friend who was old that lived in Stranmillis and if he smashed her windows he'd get his legs broke by me.
"You see, I said to him, lesson number three: You can't judge people by who you think they are. E.g just because someone is old doesn't mean there isn't a hard bastard brimming with thug passion standing behind them with a baseball bat."
One of his spidey mates said: "Tuesday Kid's got knowledge."
I was so proud. I felt like Furious in Boyz in the Hood.
I went for a walk down to Stranmillis because I think it's time I had it out with my protege. What can he possibly learn from me other than not to do the things I've done?
I eventually found him with some of his mates. He said they were going to go and smash some windows. Then it hit me. He was about to make all the mistakes I've already made.
I told him that smashing windows was fun but that someday he'll smash the wrong windows and get his legs broke. He said it was okay because they only broke old people's windows. I hit him a clash in the face and told him that I'd a friend who was old that lived in Stranmillis and if he smashed her windows he'd get his legs broke by me.
"You see, I said to him, lesson number three: You can't judge people by who you think they are. E.g just because someone is old doesn't mean there isn't a hard bastard brimming with thug passion standing behind them with a baseball bat."
One of his spidey mates said: "Tuesday Kid's got knowledge."
I was so proud. I felt like Furious in Boyz in the Hood.
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