The Suicide Diaries - No 3.

I was so fucked off with not knowing what's up with The Punchbowl Girl that I asked Hot Baby Roy what was up with her. He's having a run of luck with women so he knows about shit like this. Or is supposed to but his best advice was make her a CD of slushy love songs and tell her that you want to win her heart. That or see if The Suicide Diaries have any good love poems in it and try to pass it off as your own.

Here's the best I could find. I'm not fucking using it though.

Being In Love

Like a rare butterfly or beautiful foreign coins
you make my tackle jingle when you touch my loins.

He wrote a few more lines but scribbled them out. I guess he thought they were worse.

Ho hum.

Derry - City Of Culture

I went back to work today. Betty Blue wasn't there and neither was Kissy Boy. They were probably at home fucking and getting fucked like rapists in prison.

After work I went into town and bought some spandex. I was walking up Queen St when I came across Rock and Roll Stephen hanging out on the corner with his guitar in his hand.

I asked him what he was doing and he said he was buying some sausage rolls because he was getting ready to walk to Derry. He was saying that Derry was the city of culture and that he was going to walk there with his guitar in hand and get a garret and write some poetry while smoking rollies and walking around drunk and get chicks and feel like a really rock and roll kid. I sniggered a big because I don't think he knows I call him Rock and Roll Stephen.

I told him that The Indie Kid gave me his book of rhymes before he went back to culchie land. And Rock and Roll Stephen's jaw just dropped and he said that The Indie Kid told him he burnt it.

Tears started running down his face and he said after he managed to get control of himself:

"I guess you really were the smoker."

Then he wandered off in the direction of the motorway singing an old out of tune Libertines song.

The Suicide Diaries No 1 - Red Milk Green Milk

Last night I was sitting in the house reading The Suicide Diaries and giggling away but also feeling a bit sorry for The Indie Kid because I don't think he meant half of what he wrote here. Most of it just seems like stuff to impress his hipster friends:

Daddy you don't know what revolution means
so what if I wanna wear tight jeans?
It's all just about being free
living on a farm just isn't for me

semi-skimmed semi-skimmed semi-skimmed
we don't need to live off the fat of the land!
Daddy you just don't understand

That one was titled Red Milk Green Milk. It's a reference to skimmed and semi-skimmed milk which have red and green labels respectively. The red might be a reference to The Indie Kid's socialism but there's nothing about environmentalism, maybe it was intended for the second verse.

Ho-hum

Sometimes I Stumble and Fall

I was sitting in Charlie's Coffee shop on Bradbury Place when Rock and Roll Stephen walked in. He was with some Rock and Roll girl so when I tried to say hi he blanked me.

I sat sipping my coffee and trying to think about what to do for the day but I couldn't help but over hear them.

"I was cool at school, but no one ever gave me credit for it," the girl who looked to be in her twenties was saying. "I was listening to the Libertines before anyone else."

Rock and Roll Stephen just sat pulling a pose that made him look deep and unconcerned.

"Then they all started listening to them but I'd moved on to other cooler bands," she said, with this big smile like she was finally getting validation.

Rock and Roll Stephen turned to look at her. Then he said:

"I never asked you to understand how I keep myself to myself in the crush of the crowd. But all you can say is 'Who cares? It's part of the deal'".

Then she looked at him all amazed like he'd said something so vital. They didn't really make much sense. I know they're fucking Razorlight lyrics and if she was half the musso she claimed to be she'd know that too. Rock and Roll Stephen said he wrote them and was going to put them in a poem he was writing. Then he went on about how he's a Pete Doherty type and if it wasn't for people like her then the Libertines might have given up and Pete and Carl wouldn't have saved his life.

I really wanted to interupt and tell her that I knew Rock and Roll Stephen back when he was seventeen and used to get turned away from The Venue yet and he used to go home and wank over his ma's club books and get caught and get a clash in the face and a burst mouth and say he got it from fighting with street gangs. Lying wee bastard.

I wanted to say this, but how could I? They looked so loved up and they're both wankers so at least they can be wankers at each other and not fuck up someone decent.