I'm just coming on here briefly to boast about being nominated for two irish blog awards. Thank you to whoever nominated me. And since I'll probably not win I'll give you the speech I'll been busting to deliver since I was first nominated back in 2009:
"I keep it real. Life on the streets is tough. Fuck tha police, fuck tha government, politicians man fuck em too. Fuck advertising companies and people who photoshop models on magazine covers. Blah blah blah and thank you to Hermione Granger for keeping me company on those long lonely nights."
I'd probably not say the half of this. I'd just mutter something about how nice it is to win and get very drunk back in my seat.
Congrats to everyone else nominated.
If you are wondering what's been happening with me I'll give you a little bit of info:
Hot Baby Roy and Hot Firey Love Lady have moved in together (in Leeds).
I'm sharing my bachelor pad with two dogs (Battle Cat, of course, and Ma-Mutt [Good King Thumpo's dog. No one has seen Good King Thumpo since he went to make his snuff movie]).
Fabian Wildman is still doing the rounds and we see each other from time to time.
Nanny Boo Boo is alive and well.
My protege has started catering college and sometimes brings me cakes to stuff my face with.
And as for me and the Punchbowl Girl, I'll keep you guessing.
Showing posts with label harry potter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label harry potter. Show all posts
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Monday, 13 July 2009
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Orangemuggles
Fabian Wildman was all excited when he saw me this morning. I thought it was because he was getting ready to go to the parades. He said it was because he'd some good news for me.
He said that he read that the Ron Weasley had the swine flu and that now was my chance to get hot and heavy with Hermione Granger. I told him that Ron Weasley was fine and that it was only the actor Rupert Grint who acted him that was sick but that he was better and if I ever had a chance I'd missed it.
He looked a bit crestfallen, but he soon cheered up when I asked him what he was doing today. He said he'd sniffed some sharpies and he was off to watch the parades. He asked if I fancied joining him, it's not really my thing but it's been a while since we done felt tips together, so I stuck a blue white board marker up my nose and off we went.
We were there for a wee while digging on da tunes when I said to Fabian Wildman that they should write some tunes for dancing.
This spide said that I wasn't a true prod and that him and his mates would fight me.
I told him he had a point but that I'd a better one and I'd be sticking it up his arse with my foot.
Apart from that the rest of the day was fine.
He said that he read that the Ron Weasley had the swine flu and that now was my chance to get hot and heavy with Hermione Granger. I told him that Ron Weasley was fine and that it was only the actor Rupert Grint who acted him that was sick but that he was better and if I ever had a chance I'd missed it.
He looked a bit crestfallen, but he soon cheered up when I asked him what he was doing today. He said he'd sniffed some sharpies and he was off to watch the parades. He asked if I fancied joining him, it's not really my thing but it's been a while since we done felt tips together, so I stuck a blue white board marker up my nose and off we went.
We were there for a wee while digging on da tunes when I said to Fabian Wildman that they should write some tunes for dancing.
This spide said that I wasn't a true prod and that him and his mates would fight me.
I told him he had a point but that I'd a better one and I'd be sticking it up his arse with my foot.
Apart from that the rest of the day was fine.
Friday, 10 July 2009
The Hermione Granger Fan Club
Hot Baby Roy might read my blogs because after me slagging him off a bit recently he showed up at the house today saying that he'd a present for me.
I was a bit dubious but he went into his coat pocket and pulled out a folded up bit of paper to reveal a picture of the lovely Emma Watson who plays the gorgeous Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies.
He said he was a big fan of hers but he knew I was too so he thought he'd bring me a gift.
I was very happy.
I invited him in for a cup of tea and a chat about Hermione.
It soon turned out that Hot Baby Roy was more into Emma Watson and I was more into Hermione. I told him my love for Hermione was pure, while he said he'd love to have sex with Emma Watson under a waterfall.
I didn't fancy his chances but I told him that was a nice thing to think about.
He said that if Razorlight could do it, so could he, because Razorlight was an ugly bastard and Hot Baby Roy had moves.
He has a point there but I'm not so sure her and Razorlight did the deed. I suspect if they did that Razorlight would boast about it in a song.
He said that when he came off crack he'd written her a letter, not about sex but about the other emotions he felt for her. She never replied. He included a picture in it too. That might be the reason why.
He said he was doing his Care Bear Stare in the photo and that if he ever met her he'd do it and he'd be sure to win her heart. He did it for me and I told him he'd have more luck if he just bundled her into the back of a van.
He asked what me and Fabian Wildman were doing for the twelfth. I told him I didn't know about Fabian Wildman but I liked to sleep all day and wank a bit. I waved the Hermione picture at him to show I appreciated the effort because he looked a bit sad that we weren't doing anything.
Perhaps Hot Baby Roy is lonely like I used to be.
I was a bit dubious but he went into his coat pocket and pulled out a folded up bit of paper to reveal a picture of the lovely Emma Watson who plays the gorgeous Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies.
He said he was a big fan of hers but he knew I was too so he thought he'd bring me a gift.
I was very happy.
I invited him in for a cup of tea and a chat about Hermione.
It soon turned out that Hot Baby Roy was more into Emma Watson and I was more into Hermione. I told him my love for Hermione was pure, while he said he'd love to have sex with Emma Watson under a waterfall.
I didn't fancy his chances but I told him that was a nice thing to think about.
He said that if Razorlight could do it, so could he, because Razorlight was an ugly bastard and Hot Baby Roy had moves.
He has a point there but I'm not so sure her and Razorlight did the deed. I suspect if they did that Razorlight would boast about it in a song.
He said that when he came off crack he'd written her a letter, not about sex but about the other emotions he felt for her. She never replied. He included a picture in it too. That might be the reason why.
He said he was doing his Care Bear Stare in the photo and that if he ever met her he'd do it and he'd be sure to win her heart. He did it for me and I told him he'd have more luck if he just bundled her into the back of a van.
He asked what me and Fabian Wildman were doing for the twelfth. I told him I didn't know about Fabian Wildman but I liked to sleep all day and wank a bit. I waved the Hermione picture at him to show I appreciated the effort because he looked a bit sad that we weren't doing anything.
Perhaps Hot Baby Roy is lonely like I used to be.
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