I got pished with Fabian Wildman last night to say commiserations for my job interview going so pish and now I'm just sitting pissed off and hungover as fuck.
I tried the Rocky cure for a hangover (drink a box of eggs) and I boked all twelve all over the living room carpet. I left Battle Cat in and he licked the fuckers right up. Still I was hungover as fuck and cried because I felt so bad (the hangover and the no job), I'm sure this isn't good for me because it will dehydrate me more.
I went for a walk over to Ormeau Park and I bumped into Sexy Carlos. He was out running and I asked him what was the best hangover cure. He said "Simple, don't drink."
"You're fucking simple," I said and stuck my foot out for him to fall over, but he jumped it sprightly and ran on.
I know Sexy Carlos from when I was a member of Spirit Fitness opposite the BBC. Carlos used to sit in the sauna all night and count his chest hairs. Then go for a jacuzzi. This made me feel worse, because I used to be in alright shape, I sat on the bench and had a wee boke to myself.
Showing posts with label ormeau park. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ormeau park. Show all posts
Sunday, 6 September 2009
Saturday, 25 July 2009
An Invitation of Sorts
Today me and Fabian Wildman walked to Ormeau Park with Battle Cat, He said he really likes it here and it would be shit if they turned it into the national stadium and that they should put it somewhere else.
I asked him if he wanted it put elsewhere, he said he didn't care he just didn't want it there.
He told me that he thinks we need to talk. He said he thinks that I've been single for a while and that he thinks it's because of Hooka. I told him it wasn't.
He said that he knew that I really liked Hooka and that when she fucked off I just made some remark about how I was glad it was all out of the way and that maybe I was but that he was sure I just kept a lot of it inside and didn't let it out and that he thinks I should.
I said that wasn't true and that it was easy enough for him to say that because he was with Betty Blue and he could run around in his slinky zentai and get her to let him eat boiled eggs out of her pussy.
He said that he'd been with Betty Blue for a while now and that he was very happy with her but it could end, and if it did he'd be sad but he's aware that it's not set in stone and it's all about having the balls to give it a go.
I told him I did have balls and he took out a picture of Hermione Granger.
"You see this woman? This is Emma Watson who plays Hermione Granger. You could someday become her boyfriend..."
"Yeah right, like she'd look twice at me," I snorted.
"You could," he said. "Stranger things have happened. But you need to know that even if you did, you'd not be going out with Hermionne Granger. You can't. It can't be done. She only exists in the fictional world of J.K Rowling."
"And in the hearts of Potter fans everywhere," I said triumphantly.
"The point I'm trying to make is you need to start fancying real women. Not fantasy girls who only exist on TV or in books."
"What about Hot Baby Roy?" I said.
"I've had this chat with him last night. But forget about him, do you see what I'm saying?"
"I suppose," I said.
"Because if you do then Betty Blue is having a party at hers tonight with her arty pals, you might meet someone you like there, but not if you're going looking for Hermione Granger."
"I don't want some wierdo who drinks paint and tries to shit international blue either," I mumbled. We'll see how it goes.
I asked him if he wanted it put elsewhere, he said he didn't care he just didn't want it there.
He told me that he thinks we need to talk. He said he thinks that I've been single for a while and that he thinks it's because of Hooka. I told him it wasn't.
He said that he knew that I really liked Hooka and that when she fucked off I just made some remark about how I was glad it was all out of the way and that maybe I was but that he was sure I just kept a lot of it inside and didn't let it out and that he thinks I should.
I said that wasn't true and that it was easy enough for him to say that because he was with Betty Blue and he could run around in his slinky zentai and get her to let him eat boiled eggs out of her pussy.
He said that he'd been with Betty Blue for a while now and that he was very happy with her but it could end, and if it did he'd be sad but he's aware that it's not set in stone and it's all about having the balls to give it a go.
I told him I did have balls and he took out a picture of Hermione Granger.
"You see this woman? This is Emma Watson who plays Hermione Granger. You could someday become her boyfriend..."
"Yeah right, like she'd look twice at me," I snorted.
"You could," he said. "Stranger things have happened. But you need to know that even if you did, you'd not be going out with Hermionne Granger. You can't. It can't be done. She only exists in the fictional world of J.K Rowling."
"And in the hearts of Potter fans everywhere," I said triumphantly.
"The point I'm trying to make is you need to start fancying real women. Not fantasy girls who only exist on TV or in books."
"What about Hot Baby Roy?" I said.
"I've had this chat with him last night. But forget about him, do you see what I'm saying?"
"I suppose," I said.
"Because if you do then Betty Blue is having a party at hers tonight with her arty pals, you might meet someone you like there, but not if you're going looking for Hermione Granger."
"I don't want some wierdo who drinks paint and tries to shit international blue either," I mumbled. We'll see how it goes.
Friday, 29 May 2009
My Dog is Missing
Battle Cat got out this morning. At first I thought it was satanists but I told myself I was just being paranoid. I first found out when I went to feed him. The gate was open and he was away.
I woke Fabian Wildman and he came out to help me look for him. We searched all the nearby streets but he was nowhere to be seen. Both of us were running about in oul tracksuit bottoms so we went back to get dressed before searching more.
The Sweaty Metallers and their new recruit, The Banshee, were just about to go in for a heavy metal rock and roll jam when they saw I was crying. They asked what was up and I told them Battle Cat was missing. They said they'd come and help me but I said it was okay. They insisted they were helping, so me and Fabian Wildman went and got dressed and met them back outside. Mr Spoon was there too and he said he'd help. Fabian Wildman phoned Betty Blue who said she'd meet us down at the Lagan Meadows.
We split into three groups Me and Mr Spoon, Fabian and Betty Blue, and the Sweaty Metallers and The Banshee. We searched for hours but there was no sign of him anywhere. Me and Mr Spoon went into Botanic Gardens and then up to Ormeau Park. Fabian and Betty Blue checked The Lagan Meadows as far down as Shaw's Bridge and The Sweaty Metallers and The Banshee checked further up the path from the Ormeau Road out to the Obel Tower but no luck. I'm just back in to get some food and then I'm off out again for another look.
I woke Fabian Wildman and he came out to help me look for him. We searched all the nearby streets but he was nowhere to be seen. Both of us were running about in oul tracksuit bottoms so we went back to get dressed before searching more.
The Sweaty Metallers and their new recruit, The Banshee, were just about to go in for a heavy metal rock and roll jam when they saw I was crying. They asked what was up and I told them Battle Cat was missing. They said they'd come and help me but I said it was okay. They insisted they were helping, so me and Fabian Wildman went and got dressed and met them back outside. Mr Spoon was there too and he said he'd help. Fabian Wildman phoned Betty Blue who said she'd meet us down at the Lagan Meadows.
We split into three groups Me and Mr Spoon, Fabian and Betty Blue, and the Sweaty Metallers and The Banshee. We searched for hours but there was no sign of him anywhere. Me and Mr Spoon went into Botanic Gardens and then up to Ormeau Park. Fabian and Betty Blue checked The Lagan Meadows as far down as Shaw's Bridge and The Sweaty Metallers and The Banshee checked further up the path from the Ormeau Road out to the Obel Tower but no luck. I'm just back in to get some food and then I'm off out again for another look.
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