Hot Baby Roy called round plastered last night. He brought a DVD of Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging.
"If you like Hermione Granger you'll love this!" he foamed at the mouth as he reached for the DVD player with big greedy hands and greedy eyes.
"Is there magic girls in it?" I asked him.
"Not that kind of magic," he said, "but magic all the same."
As it turned out, it was a film about teenage girls learning about growing up. I didn't like it in the way he thought I would but it seemed a touching wee film anyway, in the end it just bored the fuck out of me. The girl was a grumpy teen who talked like a bucket of melted ice cream. I fell asleep at the part where she goes to get snogging lessons and woke up at the end as the band in the movie (The Stiff Dylans), play a pish song.
There were some bits Hot Baby Roy wanted us to watch twice but we politely (but firmly) said no. After it finished he asked if we fancied seeing Bratz. We told him that we were tired and it could wait til another day but he said one of the girls had a deaf friend. We told him he should bring it another time.
He also kept making hints that he's about to get kicked out of his flat, oh dear.
Showing posts with label bratz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bratz. Show all posts
Monday, 6 June 2011
Sunday, 20 September 2009
British and American Sign Language - Who Knew?
Yesterday I was so bored I tried to learn sign language. I went on some tutorials on youtube and learned the weather but I think it's crap when I meet people and they talk about the weather. It means they've fuck all really to talk about.
So I learned the first verse of Candle in the Wind (The Marilyn Monroe version, not Princess Diana). Then I realised it was in american sign language so I thought fuck that. Then I realised that I didn't know any deaf people so even if I did know sign language I'd still have no one to talk to.
Then I remembered that in Bratz one of them had a deaf friend and then I started to wonder why Hot Baby Roy hasn't called round and the times we hung out he must have been here looking for Fabian Wildman instead of me.
Then the door went.
It was some dick selling raffle tickets. I didn't buy one.
So I learned the first verse of Candle in the Wind (The Marilyn Monroe version, not Princess Diana). Then I realised it was in american sign language so I thought fuck that. Then I realised that I didn't know any deaf people so even if I did know sign language I'd still have no one to talk to.
Then I remembered that in Bratz one of them had a deaf friend and then I started to wonder why Hot Baby Roy hasn't called round and the times we hung out he must have been here looking for Fabian Wildman instead of me.
Then the door went.
It was some dick selling raffle tickets. I didn't buy one.
Saturday, 29 August 2009
Hot Baby Roy gets hot sweaty and sticky
Hot Baby Roy came round last night and said that he wanted to know the crack about Bratz. I gave him the DVD back and said I didn't know he'd left it here.
"Great wasn't it!" he beamed proudly.
"I didn't watch it," I shrugged. "And I don't want to watch Wild Child either," I said motioning at the DVD under his arm.
"It's okay," he said, near in tears, "I'll go away."
"No don't," I said. "Come in I'm about to watch Barbwire. It's about bigger girls. Well just one in particular."
Hot Baby Roy licked his lips and waved a box of tissues at me.
"I knew we'd need these," he said happily.
"You're not wanking in my house," I said. "I might, but you can forget it."
"Just a joke," he sniggered. But I'm sure he muttered something about Fabian Wildman letting him do it.
After Barbwire he wanted to stick around and talk about Hot Baby Roy stuff. He said that his favourite song was Girls Aloud's The Loving Kind.
I told him I wasn't keen on it and that it thought it was Call The Shots Part 2. He said this wasn't so and that Call The Shots was about life and stuff but that The Loving Kind was about Ashley Cole cheating on Cheryl and that it was nothing to do with the rest of the band. You can tell this because she wears white in the video and the rest wear black. I told him I heard the Pet Shop Boys wrote it and he got pissed off and changed the subject. He said that the ginger was hot and I asked him if he thought that because he was a ginger too.
He said that had nothing to do with it because lots of non-gingers like her. I told him I didn't think gingers should be allowed to mate with other gingers.
"Who's talking about MATING?" he shouted."I want to FUCK."
"Great wasn't it!" he beamed proudly.
"I didn't watch it," I shrugged. "And I don't want to watch Wild Child either," I said motioning at the DVD under his arm.
"It's okay," he said, near in tears, "I'll go away."
"No don't," I said. "Come in I'm about to watch Barbwire. It's about bigger girls. Well just one in particular."
Hot Baby Roy licked his lips and waved a box of tissues at me.
"I knew we'd need these," he said happily.
"You're not wanking in my house," I said. "I might, but you can forget it."
"Just a joke," he sniggered. But I'm sure he muttered something about Fabian Wildman letting him do it.
After Barbwire he wanted to stick around and talk about Hot Baby Roy stuff. He said that his favourite song was Girls Aloud's The Loving Kind.
I told him I wasn't keen on it and that it thought it was Call The Shots Part 2. He said this wasn't so and that Call The Shots was about life and stuff but that The Loving Kind was about Ashley Cole cheating on Cheryl and that it was nothing to do with the rest of the band. You can tell this because she wears white in the video and the rest wear black. I told him I heard the Pet Shop Boys wrote it and he got pissed off and changed the subject. He said that the ginger was hot and I asked him if he thought that because he was a ginger too.
He said that had nothing to do with it because lots of non-gingers like her. I told him I didn't think gingers should be allowed to mate with other gingers.
"Who's talking about MATING?" he shouted."I want to FUCK."
Sunday, 23 August 2009
A Long Fucking Day
Yesterday was a weird one. Firstly it was my fruitarian brother's birthday. I haven't heard anything from any of them since my "intervention" so I didn't really know what to do. In the end I sent him a text and I got one back saying some balls about how he's thinking of going off meat again. I'll look forward to missing this intervention.
Secondly one of the sweaty metallers moved out. There was loads of shouting about how the other was "a spandex licking mutherfucker" mutherfucker was emphasised in that way that metallers sometimes do when they're wanting to get extra metal about something.
Fabian's thinking he might move in there. I think he should just stay here. The cops haven't been round in ages.
I asked him why didn't bring round Sandcastles and The Unicorn Girl again. He said that they'd been scared off by Hot Baby Roy and especially Clarence. Clarence told the Unicorn Girl that he liked to get drunk at the weekends and slap the fuck out of indie kids. Me and good king thumpo did this once but I didn't say. Fabian saw I looked upset but he didn't know why. He said he was seeing them again tonight and he'd say to them about maybe calling round again.
After he left Hot Baby Roy called round in tears saying that he couldn't find his Bratz DVD, he'd left it here but I was so pissed off I told him I hadn't seen it. He said he was going to bring round Wild Child someday soon because there was a hot dance routine in it, he saw I wasn't impressed so he added, "and there's stuff about emotions and friendship in it too."
Secondly one of the sweaty metallers moved out. There was loads of shouting about how the other was "a spandex licking mutherfucker" mutherfucker was emphasised in that way that metallers sometimes do when they're wanting to get extra metal about something.
Fabian's thinking he might move in there. I think he should just stay here. The cops haven't been round in ages.
I asked him why didn't bring round Sandcastles and The Unicorn Girl again. He said that they'd been scared off by Hot Baby Roy and especially Clarence. Clarence told the Unicorn Girl that he liked to get drunk at the weekends and slap the fuck out of indie kids. Me and good king thumpo did this once but I didn't say. Fabian saw I looked upset but he didn't know why. He said he was seeing them again tonight and he'd say to them about maybe calling round again.
After he left Hot Baby Roy called round in tears saying that he couldn't find his Bratz DVD, he'd left it here but I was so pissed off I told him I hadn't seen it. He said he was going to bring round Wild Child someday soon because there was a hot dance routine in it, he saw I wasn't impressed so he added, "and there's stuff about emotions and friendship in it too."
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