Hot Baby Roy Stays In London and Searches in Time for Jack The Ripper

I let Hot Baby Roy stay over because the doctor said he was concussed. This meant he needed someone to watch him and make sure he didn't die. So I sat up and woke him after every couple of hours. This was bad because he said that he couldn't go to sleep without a wank and I told him he wasn't allowed to wank in the house. The next day I woke up to find he'd made me a big ulster fry to say thanks and bought Battle Cat some Pedigree Chum (which even though it's expensive it gives him the runs).

Hot Baby Roy seems to have changed his tune a bit. He was telling me that he was away in London for a week visiting his sister. He said that he spent a lot of time down in shoreditch because he'd read a book about there being prostitutes there and William Burroughs was a time traveller and he was the real Jack the Ripper.

I asked him if he managed to fuck any prostitutes. I was only joking but he took thick and said that he romanced them and bought them flowers and read poetry to them. Then he fucked them.

Then he said that as a big thank you he was going to go and get Wild Child and we'd watch it tonight!

I didn't want to upset him because he looked a sorry state with his big swollen face and his ginger hair with streaks of blood through it. When he tried to smile I felt sorry for him and thought he looked like he didn't deserve his beating, even though he probably did.

The town was full today, don't know why but it was hard to get round Belfast without people banging into you. My favourite game is to walk into people who aren't looking where they are going.

There are a few exclusions to this:

Old People, people with prams (must have child in pram), pregnant women and people with walking aids/wheelchairs.

Anyone else is fair game.

There are two types of people who walk without looking where they're going:

busy people - they know where they're going, they're in a hurry and are usually deep in thought about other things. They are the lesser of the two evils.

people who are up themselves - usually female (though not always), people who spend a lot on cosmetics and don't watch where they are going because they think people are watching them (and will thus avoid a collision).

The second kind is the funniest to walk into. Today I did it at least five times. The trick is not to knock someone flying but to give them a jolt.

This one lady started yelling at me that I should watch where I'm going and that she was a poor defensless woman and I was nothing but a brute.

This dude decided to ignore the advice of fellow junky William S. Burroughs - never get involved in a boy girl fight.

He came along all, "what you doing? I'll bust your face!" I laid him out with a kick in the balls.

Then I turned to the girl and smiled sarcastically. She hit me with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen, and asked if I'd buy her a drink. I obliged and we got along famously.

Her name is Sweet Lips (that's the only name you're getting) and we're meeting for cheapo Tuesdays at the Dublin Road. I dunno what's on, hope it's a horror!