Party Time

So on Sunday we'd a big cool party to celebrate Battle Cat being back. We didn't want to make it a rock and roll heavy metal vomit one because Nanny Boo Boo was coming over and we were worried about how she'd find it. The Sweaty Metallers were on their best behaviour but a few sherry's in Nanny Boo Boo starting asking for the vodka and asked for us to play some loud music. She was a right riot. Listening to all the sweaty metaller's funny stories about rock and roll vomit parties and all the sweaty metal things they get up to. It was then I realised that both of them were competing for the affections of the Banshee who lapped it all up.

Fabian Wildman and Betty Blue were hanging out in the corner talking to Mr Spoon because Betty Blue wants to start making weird wine with beetroot and rhubarb and other weird stuff. Mr Spoon had kindly brought round two bottles (which, no harm to him, made everyone who tried them boke). The special place was reserved for Battle Cat who sat in the corner most of the night woofing away pleasantly and glad to be home.

Mr Spoon left around ten and Nanny Boo Boo a short while later. I told her I'd bring Battle Cat down to visit soon. She said she'd like that and that she'd enjoyed her time at the party and maybe she'd get an invite to the next heavy metal vomit one. I don't see why not.

After that we all played strip twister which got very messy and we were all drunk and didn't understand the rules.

I can't remember how it ended but I woke up bollock naked in the living room on my own with Battle Cat licking my face.

Accidentally Kelly Street

After sorting stuff out with Indie Kid I started thinking about sorting things out with the rest of the street: Fat Rab and Hooka, that would take a while and is best left alone for now, Mr Spoon, I was going to have to think about that; for all his huffing and puffing and moralising and all that crap he just wants to think he lives somewhere nice where (nomatter what people do in their home) that sort of stuff doesn't happen on the streets.

I know he likes to make weird wines so I went to the veg shop on the Lisburn Road and bought him loads of beetroot and ginger and an aubergine.

I went round his house and knocked his door but no-one answered. It didn't sound like he was in. I went to the shop and bought a notepad and a pen and wrote him a wee note:

"I hope you can make some of your nice wine with this lot. I liked the bottle you gave me last summer Christmas."

Then I left it at his front door in a bag.

I was about to go in the house when I heard this Rolling Stones song playing loudly from the living room:



I looked through the window to see Fabian Wildman slithering about in his zentai giving it his best Jagger moves.

He was shouting: "Betty Blue! Whip my ass! Aren't you hypnotised by my ass!"

I didn't look any more to see her. I decided to leave them to it. Fabian more than deserved the house to him and Betty Blue for the rest of the day. So I went round the back and got Battle Cat and me and him went off to the Lagan Meadows for a nice big long walk.