I'm Jealous of My Friend

Hot Baby Roy brought round his crying belle last night. And what else could I do but be nice, I felt jealous as fuck because he's all loved up after only one week and so's she and I think it's just because they're not lonely any more. I know I sound like a bastard but I don't care. I don't rate her as a bird or as company. Even if she does have hot friends, if they're as dull as her it'd cancel out their hotness. She's about as much fun as being caught by the cops wanking in an alley. She sat and sqwawked away about pish like wanting to hear stories about Hot Baby Roy. I wanted to tell a load of nasty shit about his shop lifting teddy bears and fucking them but in the end I just told as story about how me and him pal about and I made the whole fucking thing up because all we do is watch suspect teen romcoms and talk about perving. Battle Cat was very nice and walked up and offered Hot Baby Roy's lady friend a nice friendly paw.

Good boy.

We'll Make Great Pets

My metaller brother called today and said that he hadn't seen me in ages, and wanted to know if I'd come to his house to hang out this week. I said yeah, and asked him had he heard anything about Wino Jo. He said that he'd explain it when he saw me. I was a bit worried by this answer and said:

"He's not dead is he?"

My Metaller brother chucked and said "No, no, no, don't be silly."

Strange answer but I guess they must have heard something about him being okay.

Betty Blue brought round a mate last night and the four of us had dinner. I'd no real warning of this(fifteen minutes notice from Fabian Wildman) but I clicked pretty early that they were trying to set me up with her.

I didn't mind but I'd planned a night of licking the bowl. I also needed time to download some cool shit from the internet on how to talk to hippy girls. I'd learned from the party that they didn't get impressed from fight stories, which is a pity because I've a few good ones.

As it turned out she was into "causes" one of which was endangered animals. Which is a cool cause, she was talking for ages about pandas and tigers etc and it all sounded really cool up until she said. "We don't want to see another beautiful creature like the unicorn become extinct."

I didn't know what to say about this. So I smiled and said "I used to know a girl in primary school who thought unicorns were real."

I don't know what was worse, the look on her face or the look on Fabian and Betty Blue's I wasn't trying to be nasty, it just popped out. Because I thought she was sweet, and I've always put being a nice person over brains.

The night didn't get any worse, but we didn't really hit it off.