It was nice to get off the sofa and out of the house today. I walked down to Victoria Square and milled about for a while slurping on a big Cafe Mocha in Costa, they do the nicest coffee in Belfast.
I'd hoped that I might sniff some residue of Lady GaGa having been here yesterday but everywhere I looked for her trace was a dead end.
I sniffed the breeze hoping to pick up her scent but in the end I left with empty hands.
Coming home I met Princess Cheetara from the Leotard Girls at the bottom of the street and walked home with her. She said that she'd seen the wee fellah (Rock and Roll Stephen) who was nutted by Napper and he had a big gummy mouth and even though it was funny she felt bad for him because he wasn't a bad looking wee fellah before.
She said that her and the Raven Princess Spandex were having trouble with their fridge and they needed someone to come and have a look at it. I told them I used to fix fridges, which is a complete lie but I was getting horny walking up the road with her and this sounded like a start to my own private porn scenario. I'm going round later and I hope to fuck it is.
Cross your fingers for me.
Showing posts with label granny porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label granny porn. Show all posts
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Monkey Flu Comes To Belfast
Today I woke up to screaming, it was different screaming to Fabian Wildman's sex screams. I went running downstairs to find it was Fabian Wildman. He was standing in the kitchen with his hand under the cold tap screaming and crying.
"What's wrong? Did you burn yourself?" I asked.
"No!" he screamed. "I've been infected with Monkey Flu!"
"You mean swine flu?" I asked recoiling from him like I would from granny porn.
"NO! MONKEY FLU!"
"What's monkey flu?" I asked.
"You get it from eating beige foods!" he squeeled. "It makes you shit and piss yourself turn about and then you die,"
"Beige foods?" I asked wondering why he'd his hand under the tap.
"You know buns, pastries, all that shit that tramps eat, now one of the fuckers has bit me! Fuck those gypsy bastards down castle street! I only reached into his tin looking for crack money!"
"Maybe if you did an honest days begging instead of stealing you'd have the money now instead of monkey flu, which by the way sounds like a load of balls to me."
"You'll be sorry when you find me dead!" he squeeled running up the stairs in a wild panic. He locked himself in the toilet and he's been there ever since.
"What's wrong? Did you burn yourself?" I asked.
"No!" he screamed. "I've been infected with Monkey Flu!"
"You mean swine flu?" I asked recoiling from him like I would from granny porn.
"NO! MONKEY FLU!"
"What's monkey flu?" I asked.
"You get it from eating beige foods!" he squeeled. "It makes you shit and piss yourself turn about and then you die,"
"Beige foods?" I asked wondering why he'd his hand under the tap.
"You know buns, pastries, all that shit that tramps eat, now one of the fuckers has bit me! Fuck those gypsy bastards down castle street! I only reached into his tin looking for crack money!"
"Maybe if you did an honest days begging instead of stealing you'd have the money now instead of monkey flu, which by the way sounds like a load of balls to me."
"You'll be sorry when you find me dead!" he squeeled running up the stairs in a wild panic. He locked himself in the toilet and he's been there ever since.
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