In the Cold Cold Night

Still ill on Wednesday so I couldn't make the Jam next door. The sweaty metallers were disappointed but they went ahead with the jam anyway because they were trying out some new girl on backing vocals. She screamed and howled like a banshee. It was blood curdling. Fabian Wildman didn't sleep a wink the whole night and it was nothing to do with Betty Blue. He came walking into my room at 3 in the morning and asked me where the light switch was. I told him the light was already on and he asked how come he was eternally in darkness.

He told me that as a kid he had wanted to be cool when he grew up and own his own car and go out to the club with his buddies after a week of working hard, it would be now time to play hard. And not that he'd anything against me, because he liked me, but his life wasn't taking the shape he'd hoped it would.

Then he spoiled it all by saying:

"I'm very deep you know, I often ask myself the big questions."

I told him that I didn't have any answers and that I'd maybe hoped my life would have been different but there you go. I think Fabian might ask himself the big questions but then he'd probably go for a wank before he found the answers.

Britain's Got Talent - Tuesday Kid's Got Skills

I've only just found out about Britain's Got Talent and I've had a radical cool idea for if it comes to Belfast. I'm not gonna play smokin' hot solos for them, oh no. What I'm gonna do is kick fuck out of Piers Morgan. I'll say my skill is Chinese Gung-Fu then slap the mutherfucker about the room. Any security that try to stop me will get slapped to fuck as well. Then when he's a sorry mess I'll say to Simon Cowell and Amanda Holden "Vote me through to the next round or you're next." Then I'll get to fuck Piers up all over again in the next round.

That said I'm taking Foosted Wotsit Head to a hypnotist to see if we can find out more about his freaky dreams and Wino Jo.

Foosted Wotsit Head Has Dreams of Wino Jo

I ran into Foosted Wotsit head today at the back of Queen St he was trying to open a can of beans by smashing it off some bricks. I explained the wee ring pull on it and how it works and in no time Foosted Wotsit head was tucking into a meal of cold beans. It was a small consolation because he was shaking them all over himself with his DTs.

Anyways, I asked him if he'd seen Wino Jo.

"Only in my dreams," he said giving me this really startled look.

This was a bit worrying because Foosted Wotsit head has all these dreams about missing persons. In his dreams he usually has a violent encounter with them. I've sometimes suspected they're memories instead of dreams but Wino Jo always said Foosted Wotsit head was harmless. It was strange he was so sure since none of the missing people ever turned up again. Anyways, I hope to fuck he's just having a funny turn.

It was a weird one too and this song by the Carpenters really sums up how I feel at the mo. Walking around like some kind of lonely clown How did she know?