Help Me I'm Turning Into a DIck

I'm doing that thing that guys who haven't had a shag in ages do. And I haven't had a shag in ages. I look at every girl as a potential ride. I'm not so bad that I'm giving them numbers out of ten but still.

I saw Nanny Boo Boo last night (no I'm not thinking of shagging her) and she was telling me that she's been reading my blog and she knows that I fancy Fabian Wildman's ex-girlfriend and that she hasn't said anything about it but she thinks it could cause a problem between us. I told her that there already was a big problem between us and that Fabian Wildman smelt of piss and had no chance of getting her back.

She said that Fabian was drinking his piss to try to calm his jitters when he was giving up crack and that so far it hadn't worked but him and her were hopeful.

                                   A better use for a bottle of piss

I told her that Betty Blue was seeing some other guy in the office and that I was a bit jealous to start but they seem to be a bit loved up and that there was this other girl I might have a blossoming romance with. And she asked if it was the wee girl who was going to top herself and I said that wasn't a given and that maybe with my stud loving she'd give that idea up completely and get in my bed.

Nanny Boo Boo said she liked to hear me talking like that because she thought I should be out shagging lots of girls. She says that My Protege has himself a girlfriend now and I'm so jealous because he's obviously been using the street skillz I taught him and it seems to work for him but it hasn't for me.

The Punchbowl Girl hasn't been back at work for a few days and I'm starting to worry I've missed an opportunity for sex. We'll see.

Touching the Bowl

I've a right fucking hangover after all that cake and wine. My guts feel like chewing gum and my shite's coming out like toothpaste. Fucking harsh. I got some more booze in me to nip the bastard before it starts. My metaller brother sent me a text today. Not an apology, just a "what you been up to with yourself dude" thing.

Anyways, hangovers are weird because I didn't feel so pished last night after I came home but Fabian Wildman says I fed a whole packet of sausages to Battle Cat and tried to get him to run down the street like in cartoons. I do remember doing this but it didn't look as funny as I thought it would have.

Anyway I've got to go for a job interview later so I'm going to have to clean myself up. Wish me luck.