Nanny Boo Boo called round today. She said she hadn't seen me properly since she'd got back and she told me how cool it was in London she went on the London Eye and it makes the one at city hall look like a ferris wheel. I was glad she'd had a good time there.
She asked me who did the suspicious DVDs belong to. I told her about Hot Baby Roy and his concussion.
"Is this a new project of yours?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You're always taking in these strays, they don't thank you for it, except for this one." " she said winking at Battle Cat, who thumped his tail off the floor and woofed.
I asked her if she'd seen Fabian Wildman. She said he called round once but he was strange. He seemed a bit through other. She thinks he's a bit up his arse these days. She gave him some madera cake and he didn't touch it or his cup of tea.
My fruitarian brother called round and things were very strained. Nanny Boo Boo was very polite and he sat their looking like the wanted to talk about something with me.
I knew things would erupt if I left the room but I needed a pish so badly I didn't sit more than five minutes with the two of them. I hadn't finished in the bogs when I could hear them arguing from the top of the stairs. Nanny Boo Boo was saying that they were bastards for holding an intervention for me when I'd been sorting myself out for ages. The Fruitarian was trying to defend himself saying he'd just went along with it rather than planned it but Nanny Boo Boo wasn't buying any of it, she told him that he should call round more on social visits and not just when he has something he needs sorting out. Like running round getting frostbite on his hairy arse sitting under pear trees. Oh yes, she new all about it and him boking in a wee kids hair and nearly getting me into a fight.
When I came down the Fruitarian said he had somewhere he had to be and went with a big red face on him.
