Things I Hear While Lying on the Floor

Lying on the floor at Zim Van Bindle's house earlier in the week I listened to him tell me his plan for becoming bad ass. Zim Van Bindle is scared. He says there's war coming and only the purest will be able to stay strong. He says that he was reading about the world's strongest girl online and he's been watching Kung-Fu movies and he has a plan to get together an army of his own fighting ladies, partly for the surprise to his enemies but also partly so he can be just like Mister Han Man Bullshit here:



Then he lit up his crack pipe and he realised it was time to fuck off home.

Windy Day Sexy Fais

I stood in some glass this morning. I was pure raging I thought about that Bruce Lee movie where he makes the baddies eat paper and warns them that next time they act like muthafuckers he'll make them eat glass.

Still at least Battle Cat didn't stand in it. The wee bit of glass is stuck in my foot and I've tried wiggling it and putting it in a bucket of warm water but nothing.

Then I sat down for a good cry and watched the rubgy, did you see O'Driscoll's try at the end, good on you mutherfucker, class only wish we'd won instead of drawn.

Sat making a doll of My Protege so I could teach Battle Cat to attack him but I can't draw for shit and it ended up looking like Prince Harry, and Battle Cat would bite him anyway.