Rock and Roll is Here To Stay

The Sweaty Metallers called round today to ask if I wanted to go to a heavy metal vomit party and I made up some excuse not to go because I was too pissed off, all that screaming and acting cool for nothing. I'd just be nobody at one of those parties. I wouldn't be able to look any of the cool dudes in the eye and I wouldn't be getting any hot metal girls.

Fabian Wildman said I should go, just to say there's no hard feelings and I might meet some people who want to start up a band. I told him that I always felt like a fake in the band and I didn't know how to sing. He shrugged and says it'd beat staying home, so I went.

I walked into the party and asked if anyone wanted to start a band with me and no one said anything. I was relegated to talking to this guy who had nothing to say for himself other than "I have a prince albert" and "my wife didn't leave me, I left her." It was so depressing I went upstairs to see what I could steal.

I was going through a girls make up bag for money when she came upon me, she looked really shocked like she was going to scream the house down.

"Mind if I borrow your lipstick?" I asked.

This changed everything, five minutes later we were plastered in her lipstick and getting it on ontop of loads of coats.

I boked in her mouth and she boked in mine it was so beautiful. Then after it all she said:

"It's great the way you can just cop off with people at these parties and it doesn't mean anything."

Just as I'd my phone out to take her number. I quietly put it back in my pocket and cried silently as she left the room.

One day I'll find what I'm looking for, but last night I couldn't find anything, not even a tenner or a mobile in one person's coat. I must be losing my touch.