Homeless, Like Kurt, who was deep

I'm in the house watching the Nirvana night on BBC4, or to be honest I've only just turned it on. Right at the point where they're saying that Kurt Cobain used to be homeless. Something I never knew.

I've been homeless myself, but never for long, never more than a few weeks before I found somewhere to stay. If I had to spend a few nights under a bridge or in a park or even in a casualty waiting room (like Cobain did) I always managed to get myself a sofa in someone's house, or crash out in a cupboard at a party.

The first time I spent a night out was during some shitty rioting that happens in Northern Ireland from time to time. I was coming home from a party at a friends house (I was only a teenager at the time by the way) when I heard more noise than I should have heard at that time of night in that area. I turned a corner where I could see a lot better a crowd of angry bastards charging up the street in my direction. That was my cue to turn and run like a mutherfucker, not in the opposite direction, back the way I came (at a right angle to the rioters route). I managed to get to a bridge that I had to cross on my way to school. It was in a remote part of town, and not lit, so I tucked myself under it to sleep. It was stupid for a lot of reasons. It's a bad idea to put yourself in an obscure area far the fuck away from anyone, but since the town was getting fucked up it was the best of nothing but bad options.

It wasn't the last time I slept under a bridge, or that bridge, but I hope that part of my life is over with, unless the economy sends everything to shit again, and in that case there's always cat burgling and crack.

Hot Firey Love Lady Violence

I didn't tell Hot Baby Roy about The Raven Princess Spandex wanting to see him. He reads my blog sometimes so he might find out anyway. I'm not telling him though.

I asked him if he had been at Hot Firey Love Lady's house. He said yes. I asked him if Mother of Bowling Ball had been kicked out. He said no. Mother of Bowling Ball had said that it was just a silly drunken argument that got out of hand and everyone let him stay. I told him if he gave me the address I'd go round and kick fuck out of him. He said no, that Hot Firey Love Lady detests violence and she's going to talk the other people in her house round to kicking Mother of Bowling Ball out. I told him that's a form of violence in itself. He said that he was going to learn kung-fu and embarrass him in front of members of the fairer sex, just to show him how bad it felt. Then he opened a packet of ginger nuts and ate them in five minutes flat.