Little My is Boring as Fuck

In work today Little My has been boasting like fuck all about what her boyfriend bought her for Christmas and more importantly how much it all cost and how she checked the price of it in the shops and her man isn't cheap. They've only been going out a few weeks so he might be an arsehole. Kissy Boy says he's definitely an arsehole, not just for the money he spent but for going out with Little My in the first place.

He asked her what did she buy him and Little My said that it was the man's place to splash the cash.

It'll all end in tears, hopefully hers.

She told a story all about how her man told some guy in a pub to "fuck aff" and it was some craic and how her and all her mates have some craic slagging the pish out of each other.

It sounds like a San and Tray appreciation society.

Little My's ma Big My sits in the bar and tells dickheads to shut up and she hit someone a dig in the face and it was all too much to listen to. I looked round to see that no one else was listening either.

As Little My finished her story no one laughed in the right place so she told it again, louder with more cursing.

No one laughed this time either.

She said, "there's something wrong with you folk, no one here's any craic."

I nearly bought some crack when we got out wages but I didn't want to tell anyone. There were fuck all calls coming in so I'm just waiting for Little My to shut up or the shift to end.

Just Another Series of Fights, Arguements and Fuck All Else

So Hot Baby Roy was supposed to get his dole on the 23rd and he gets it and goes and gets pished and all that but then on Christmas Eve when he's trying to buy presents (he says) he finds out that they've fucked it up and only given him one weeks money. In my experience of being on the dole those fuckers at the Conor Building on Great Victoria Street couldn't run their fingers up their own arses. The most useless bunch of fuckers there is.

Anyway he says that's the reason he's bought us shit presents. I personally don't care because I know he doesn't have much money and Wino Jo was threatening to stab him a week ago so I'm surprised he's buying him anything.

He gets me a copy of FHM with the calender which is great because it has Pixie Lott and Eliza Dushku in it so yum yum. He gets Wino Jo a whoopie cushion from the joke shop which Wino Jo has lots of fun with. He knows what he's doing when it comes to Battle Cat and gets him this cool as fuck collar which will make Battle Cat look like a big mean dog even though he's really soft as shite.

Wino Jo bought us both tank tops, which he says is in fashion but I remember seeing him wearing these about five years ago so I'm not convinced.

I bought them both fancy aftershave because they both lack in this department. Hugo Selection for Wino Jo and CK One for Hot Baby Roy, neither of them nice as mine but you don't have to put yourself at the back of the queue when helping out others.
Battle Cat got a new blanket and a big juicy bone.

As for the fights, arguements and fuck all else it didn't happen with us, we just had a nice time and fell asleep watching TV with our faces stuffed.

Hope everyone else had a good Christmas.

How To Cook a Turkey

I'm just going to bed for a few hours. I've been up trying to cook the turkey. I've never done one before but I got some recipe off the net which was for people who are crap in the kitchen. I've fucked up Rice Crispies in the past so I'm not expecting much.

I had to wait for Fabian Wildman to go to sleep because I want it to be a surprise. It was paid for using the cheque book he stole so in a way he has got us presents. Wish me luck. I hope I don't give me and him food poisoning. Happy Christmas readers.