New Neighbours?

The wee Indie Fan across the street is back now for uni. I hadn't realised he'd gone until I passed him on the street and he asked me all the gossip over the summer. Turns out he knew as much as I did. (I think he might read this blog). He asked why the sweaty metallers moved out.

I told him it was lady trouble.

He laughed and said: "Was it over yer doll that sang for them? You'd tap her alright, she wasn't there because of her voice that's for sure."

Then he did some weird oos and aas that sounded like her only more in tune.

Then he said that a fitter doll had moved in in her place. He saw her this moring going out for a jog.

"Lovely thing," he kept saying.

I think he might have got his hole for the first time over the summer because now he's talking like he's Crocket and Tubbs rolled into one big cherry tying ball of spunk.

"Is there a guy there too?" I asked.

"Not that I've seen," he said. "If there is he won't be too hard to see off."

Yes he's had his hole. Lucky boy. I just hope he doesn't get his legs broke by the new girl's man (if she has one, if she hasn't it might be me doing the leg breaking).

Fabian's Lessons In Love

Today Fabian Wildman slithered down the stairs in his zentai (he says the tightness is comforting) asking for some honey.

I told him I'd have to go back to the shop and steal it but that if I did I wanted him to fix it for me to hump and pump the Unicorn Girl. He told me that I didn't need to use that sort of language because he knows I don't mean it or only half mean it.

I asked him what's the secret of getting girls to like you. He told me that it's not about hearts and flowers and all that bumfluff, it's about sexiness and the way he does it is sometimes he rubs spunk in his hair because the smell gets Betty Blue all excited though not too often or she'd just think he wanked and didn't wash, he says that having a big wang helps.

Then after contemplation he said that she just likes him for who he is. It sounded kind of sweet, until he said that he wasn't changing for no chicka. Which I know is pure balls because half of why him and Betty Blue are together is because she lets him eat boiled eggs out her fanny and he let's her do fuck knows what to him (I don't know but I've heard the screams).