British and American Sign Language - Who Knew?

Yesterday I was so bored I tried to learn sign language. I went on some tutorials on youtube and learned the weather but I think it's crap when I meet people and they talk about the weather. It means they've fuck all really to talk about.

So I learned the first verse of Candle in the Wind (The Marilyn Monroe version, not Princess Diana). Then I realised it was in american sign language so I thought fuck that. Then I realised that I didn't know any deaf people so even if I did know sign language I'd still have no one to talk to.

Then I remembered that in Bratz one of them had a deaf friend and then I started to wonder why Hot Baby Roy hasn't called round and the times we hung out he must have been here looking for Fabian Wildman instead of me.

Then the door went.

It was some dick selling raffle tickets. I didn't buy one.

Heil Fabian!

I've been a bit disturbed about Fabian Wildman's drunken outbursts and rather than blow up at him and start going over a load of old PC shite I decided to take the softly softly approach. Basically if he's recently been talked into this, it might be easy enough to talk him out of it.

So I sat down with him last night and asked what the craic was?

He told me that he wasn't a racist but that he didn't want poles taking our jobs.

I asked him if it was because he got fired.

He said no it wasn't.

I asked him if he thought that it was right that people from this country go all over the world taking jobs.

He shrugged and then showed me a text he'd got with a polish joke on it about how a hundred poles died in belfast last night when the bed 60 of them were sleeping on collapsed killing them and the 40 sleeping underneath.

I told him I didn't think it was funny. I asked him if he was upset about other stuff.

"No," he replied. "I just want to huff gas all day."

Then he brought out his 5 lighters for a pound and started huffing away.

This isn't over yet.